Break Time

I'm in the process of trying to get a promotion of sorts at work. It's a rather complicated process, so I won't go into detail, but BWIBTD (bonus points if anyone but John and Bucket knows what THAT means), is that I have to prove that I'm doing more significant tasks in order to be bumped up the pay scale. So, in addition to completing more time-sensitive tasks and keeping on top of my boss's daily schedule, I'm doing more work on the whole. It's good; I like being kept busy, as the day goes by a lot faster. But it also is allowing me to see how people work 9 and 10 hour days in New York. Not that I have nearly that much work- I don't- but I actually feel important and essential. I think that's a good thing.

So, forgive me if I don't have time to write about trivial goings on (goings-on?) that you really probably don't care about anyway- I'm working.

Too early for Easter Countdown?

Yeah, I think it is. However, since I gave up sweets and desserts for Lent, I can't help but dream about my number one favorite Easter treat:




Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I LOVE me some Cadbury Cream Eggs. As a kid, we would each get 2 in our Easter baskets. I usually ate one of them immediately, and saved the other one for a few days later. Last year, since we moved to New York the week before Easter, I had no Easter basket. Robert and I went back to Balto to sing at St. David's for Easter morning, and spent the night before scouring the entire city- and Towson- looking for Cadbury Cream Eggs. How many did we find? Zero. Zip. Zilch. NOT AN EGG in sight. Boy was I ever irritated. It was, of course, my own fault. If had planned ahead, I could have dropped into any Duane Reade and picked myself up a 3-pack.

So, this year, I will stock up circa Palm Sunday. The hard part will be not eating all 3 at once on Easter Sunday. And stay tuned for more Easter fun!

Now back to repentance.

Idiot

Me: Hey, I really wanna see this movie. (HINT HINT)

Boy: Yeah. My friends said it was awesome, and that I should check it out.

Me: Yeah totally. I think I'm gonna see it this weekend. (YET MORE HINTS)



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Dear The Fray,

If I hear "How to Save a Life" one more time, I just might cut myself. Seriously. Hearing your incredibly lame, terrible pop music once in my life was one time too many- hearing it EVERY DAY from my co-worker's radio has just about pushed me over the edge.

The worst part is, I hear this piece of shit song EVERYWHERE I go. At work, getting coffee, at the store; and it's so awful and catchy that it gets stuck in my head and I'm close to blowing my brains out until I can replace it with something even semi-decent.

Anyway, your band sucks.

Love,
Hilary

Mais oui

OK, so it turns out, my dream vacation to the south of France just might become a reality. Renting a house with a group of people really IS affordable. Take this property, for example: during peak time, the cost is $778.15 for one week. It sleeps 5 people. That works out to be $155.63 per person. FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK. It's two hours south of Paris, in wine country, with gads of lovely outdoor activities. You can wake up and go for a hike, take the train into Paris, or just get wasted all day on a lovely Chablis. Seriously- does that not sound amazing? A week in France vs. one night in a New York hotel- and not even a nice one.

So, my friend Lauren and her hubby, who live in the U.K., also happen to love this French holiday idea. We also got our other good friend from college, Beckie, to hop onboard, and along with her mans, that makes 5. (Notice how I'm dateless. Do I care? Not at all. I'll be in France for God's sake. Unless, of course, by some miracle, one of the millions of first dates I go one actually works out. Then maybe I'll have a travel partner. But I digress.) We're aiming for May or June of 2008. That gives me a year to start saving up. I'm thinking we do a week in wine country, and a week in the south of France. If I'm careful, and don't spend all of my money on beer here in New York, this could work.

I must be a fool...

...because I'm considering doing this on Saturday. My friend, and warm weather running partner, is begging me to be on her team. Me. The girl who hasn't run outside since October, and very rarely uses the treadmill at the gym. I would say I haven't run more than 2 miles at one time in 5 months. And I'm supposed to run 4 on Saturday morning? Foolish.
However, I need something to kick my ass. I've been pussing out big time at the gym, using the excuse that I walk 10 minutes there and 10 minutes back, so I can afford to shave 20 minutes off of my cardio. Yeah right. Nice try, Hils. Summer ain't too far away, and given the fact that NYC is a disgusting, sweltering hellhole for 4 months out of the year, I don't want to look like a pig. Plus I need to look cute on my new bike, to make up for the fact that I'm going to resemble a 6-year-old when I first start riding.
If I'm wheelchair-bound next week, you'll know why.

Someday

I've found my dream vacation- and it's totally affordable. Now, all I need is a better-paying job, a boyfriend, and an updated passport. Ok, I guess I don't really need a boyfriend, but if I'm going here for a week and sharing the joint with other friends, ONE of them better be sleeping with me.

Just browse through this site and see how affordable it really is to rent a house in France. If you have a group of friends who you can tolerate for a week in a country house, I really can't think of a better vacay. The airfare would cost more than the house. And in a lot of these small villages, you shop for fresh produce and eggs daily, and can even have bread delivered. Bread. Delivered. Want to ski? Go to the southwest of France in the winter. Is summer more your speed? Rent a joint in Nice with a pool and kick baaaaaaack.

Can you imagine sitting around a table every night, with bottles of wonderful French wine, a home-cooked dinner, and great conversation? Talk about the complete opposite of New York City.

Dang.

Bratty

Ha HA! That's what you get for bein a dick.

Ugh

I'm only 26 years old, albeit 2 months left until I turn 27, but STILL- 26 is not old. Especially in New York. Even Jay-Z says it: 30 is the new 20. Then why, if I'm so young and full of time, do I always end up questioning myself when it comes to dating?

I've said it before and I'll say it again- now- I like being single. I like not worrying about putting someone else's feelings/schedule/bullshit first. I like being able to come and go as I please. I like (occasionally) staying at home on Friday nights, eating take away and watching Lifetime movies, and not giving a crap what anyone else thinks. I like getting up on Saturday mornings and spending the day doing whatever I want- museums, shopping, running, movies, etc. I'm comfortable being alone.

However....

I like companionship. I like having plans with a boy. I like making out. I like looking forward to butterflies.

I DON'T like feeling like shit. I DON'T like waiting. I hate wondering. I loathe "waiting to hear back"; phone calls, emails, text messages. It all sucks and it's all lame. I'm a pretty strong, independent woman. And mostly, I have Nakia to thank for that. She has given me SO many pep talks throughout the years, and helped me to realize that I'm pretty awesome- so why go through all of these shenanigans if I don't have to? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm still trying to figure out why- when I know the answer- I wait around until the last minute to make plans because said dude "might call". And why, even after very little time spent together, I expect too much. And still- doubting myself and my attributes because I haven't heard from a boy in four days.

Ridiculous. I'm so much better than all of that. And young. I'm young.

Geeky

I never would have come up with this comparison. Ever.

What What....was that

Head to Robert's blog now. Seriously.

Watch that shit.

Dear attractive men at my gym,

Hi there. How YOU doin? I'm not sure if you've noticed me; in fact, you probably haven't, but that's fine. I've noticed you. I have no idea where you are hiding in Astoria- I never see any of you on the train, on the sidewalk, at Key Food, or at Rite Aid. (That's pretty much my tour of my neighborhood during the cold months.)
It's going to be hard to give you up when my membership runs out at the end of March. I mean, you're all pretty hot, but I can't justify the ridiculous cost of membership any longer. I've decided to just start working out at Columbia because it's a lot cheaper for me. Plus, once it gets warm again, I'll be running outside instead of on the treadmill, AND I'm getting a bike. So, it just makes sense. I hope I'm not hurting any of your giant, muscular, tight feelings. Especially you, blonde guy with the cute glasses and bearded lifting partner. You're my favorite. Yeah you. Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

So for the next month-and-a-half, I'll still be cruising you, while trying to act like I'm really paying attention to my fitness. Keep wearing those tight shirts and making those grunting sounds.

Love,
Me

Owner of a lonely heart

Man. I wish I had boyfriend who would do this for me.

I like 'em beardy

Friday night's rock show at the Bowery Ballroom provided some choice celeb. viewing. First up, Sufjan Stevens. I never would have recognized him if Bucket wouldn't have pointed him out- he now has a giant beard. Still cute, but much better looking clean-shaven. Next up, Adrien Grenier of Entourage fame. Also pretty dreamy, and also pretty scruffy. I walked past him several times before I actually believed it was him. Aren't celebs supposed to be surrounded by gorgeous people at all times? Cause his friends looked pretty normal. They kind of looked like me and my friends. So then why can't we be friends? WHY CAN'T WE?!?!

Anyway.

After Midlake rocked the ballroom, I headed out to meet up with some other friends. This is my second 3:30 AM Friday night in a row, and I'm still feelin it. Apparently, age 22 is the cutoff for such regular shenanagins. I have yet to catch up on the sleep I missed and I'm not interested in beer for another few days. What the hell? I used to be made of steel.

Saturday night, Nakia and I went to the Met to see Jenufa. Admittedly, I knew nothing about this opera. We had great seats, albeit the house was half empty, and it was quite an intense performance. The music wasn't really my cup of tea, but the acting and singing were very effective. Being that I mostly sing comic/non-dramatic roles, I'm always very impressed with singers who spend the entire 3 hours pouring their souls out while singing glorious high notes. Oh, and apparently Ms. Fleming was in the audience.

I love New York.

Pseudo Aunt

My best friend from childhood is now a mother- and that is strange! It's a wonderful and amazing thing, but it's freakin' me out. OK, maybe not actually freaking me out, but her being pregnant was one thing- her telling me about giving birth and sending me pictures of her son is totally different. It's real. She is now responsible for another life. That is so huge. Someone my age, only older by a few months, is now raising a human being- and I rent an apartment in Queens.

I couldn't be happier for her. I cried when she told me the news, and I couldn't wait to see pictures. I almost hopped a train home, but I'm going to wait until my nephew is born before I go on my baby tour. Could it be that I have a biological clock afterall?

Here's Ryan:

I spoke too soon

A "friend", we'll call him, just emailed me the following, saying "Why go to the opera when I have THIS in store for you":


Make your Valentine’s day STEAMY! Take your Valentine to White Castle on
Wednesday, February 14 between 5 and 8 p.m. and enjoy hostess seating,
candlelit dining and your own server. Reservations are required, so check the
list below for participating Castles near you!

Special this year, you can also treat your honey to a romantic White Castle
dinner in your home! Cupid’s Crave Kits include eight cheeseburgers, one sack
of fries, two regular soft drinks, coupons and keepsake items to heat up your
homespun romance. Now, ain’t that sweet?

Oh rly?

Funny, cause MTA service pretty much sucks all the time. But apparently, here's an explanation as to why.

Right.

Since you asked

I know there are only about 3 people who read this who DON'T know what "Valentine's Day Massacre" is, so lemme 'splain. (It's more of a "you had to be there" story, but whateves.)

Valentine's Day '03: a group of we Baltimore singletons (and Robert and his BF, but they were troopers for putting up with a bunch of single, horny people) headed to Germano's for a lovely evening of food, wine, and company. Fuck Cupid and all that coupley crap. We had each other.

Well, the reservation was for 8 PM, and there about 10 or 12 of us. We showed up on time, and waited. Then we waited. Oh, and waited some more. Finally, around 10 PM, we were sat. At this point, desperately needing wine, and just pissed off. Especially since we were the ONLY non-couple in the joint. We got upstairs to the table, sat around for another 45 minutes or so until someone actually waited on us, and then learned that they had run out of half of the menu. Brilliant.

By the time we actually ate, I think it was midnight. (Correct me if I'm wrong, guys). The food was sub-par, the service was terrible, and none of us were any closer to getting laid than we were at the beginning of the night. (Except for Robert).

So there you have it: Valentine's Day Massacre. NOT to be repeated. This year, it'll be a few singletons at a cool restaurant, celebrating our single status. We are, afterall, really fabulous people. Even the non-singletons. :)

Valentine's Day Massacre

Robert had a great idea. Who's in for Valentine's Day Massacre '07? Actually, it won't be a massacre this time because I'm sure the service at Arturo's, or wherever we go, will have better service than the wreck of a VD dinner in '03. Plus, there's no car for anyone to pee in. We use the sidewalks for that, Jess.

Wo-word

How boss is this???

Belt buckle, custom hoodie, and straight up smooth moves- that's how we roll. Literally.

Dear Open Table Reservations,

You can stop sending me emails to remind me that Valentine's Day is next week. Really, I don't need you remind me that "The most romantic day of the year" is "right around the corner" so I better "make a reservation at the best restaurant in New York City or REGRET IT UNTIL MY DYING DAY, UNLESS YOU'RE DATELESS AND IN THAT CASE GO JUMP OFF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS SINGLE PEOPLE ARE TERRIBLE."

Oops.

Sorry.

Anyway, yeah. I don't need to be reminded.

Thanks,
Hilary

I still love Jews

From Corporate Casual:



At what point did the “bodega story” become the new “typical example of why I hate everything”? Probably early December.

Anyway, last night, bodega, in line, this guy goes “Can I just leave two fifty for this? I’m in a hurry. Can I just leave two fifty? It’s two forty-nine. I’m in a hurry.”

FUCKING YOU WAIT YOUR TURN. This is a known thing that assholes do that has been on-line diary’ed about since the ’30s and I’m not going to waste too much time, BUT:

They say yes because he won’t shut up and he leaves his two fifty because he is in a hurry. A few points on this:

1. No one in the history of being in a hurry has ever needed to stop in real quick and get a Dragonfruit SmartWater.
2. When you are in a hurry, once you have skipped everyone in line because you’re a shitty human being, YOU SHOULD RUSH OUT THE DOOR, NOT CASUALLY MAKE YOUR WAY ACROSS THE STORE, PAUSING TO OPEN YOUR “PROOF OF UPPER MIDDLE CLASS STATUS” JUICE AND TAKE A SIP.
3. Don’t hold the door for someone going out and then wait for someone else to come in. This is a kind thing to do under normal circumstances, but YOU ARE IN A HURRY SO YOU SAID. I AM WAITING IN LINE WATCHING YOUR FACE AND PRETENDING THAT IT HAS HAD ACID THROWN IN IT BY MY HAND.
4. I’m going to bloody you.

Whole Paycheck

I have a love-hate relationship with Whole Foods. Every single time I go there to eat (because I can't afford to do my grocery shopping there: I mainly go just for the salad bars), I get annoyed. Like, really annoyed. Yet I keep going back, week after week. Why? Because I like to be in control of what I eat. And because as far as "fast food" goes, it's pretty quick. The selection of prepared foods is pretty extensive- salad bar, cold salads, hot salads, Indian food, pizza, soups, sandwiches, sushi, bakery delights, and if you really don't feel like dealing with the DIY salad bar, there's a whole "to go" area. It's that easy.
However, the clientele and sheer volume of people that clog the whole foods arteries at any given time is enough to make me want to shake a baby. Just kidding. Relax! But it's enough to make me swear that I'm done with Whole Foods forever- or until the next week. The worst part are the shopping carts. The buggies are these mini, half-carts and they are ridiculous. Most of the brainiacs pushing around these mini-wheels don't even NEED the cart; they're just lazy. If all you need from the store is a box of cereal and some organic cheese, then make your salad first, THEN grab those items, and get in line. Don't park your cart in the middle of the couscous area and walk around for 15 minutes. The next time I see that shit, I'm emptying the cart. Also, the sushi selections are pretty much the same across the board. Whole Foods isn't some random Japanese sushi innovator- pick up your spicey tuna roll and get the hell out of the way. Can't decide between brown and white rice? Why don't you take a step back and think about it instead of blocking the entire sushi case. Thanks.
I get irritated with myself for continuing to spend wayyyyyyy too much money at this yuppy, non-economical chain. However, for nine dollars, I can get a healthy, balanced meal that I put together myself, instead of paying $15 for the same thing at a restaurant. And since my insane social obligations prevent me from being able to cook at home every night, I'll remain Whole Foods' bitch. Plus, their vegan chocolate chip scones are off the CHAIN!

Ja, ich wuerde gerne ein paar deutsche Biere dieses Wochenende trinken.

So, I went here on Friday and I had a lot of these.
I've said it before and I'll say it again- the Germans and the Belgians do the best beer. Hands down. With its amber-mahogany coloring and streaked with fine top-fermenting yeast, this beer has a fine, persistent head that adheres well to the glass. It is pleasantly spicy with a typical top-fermented smell. An arome of clove and nutmeg apple tantalizes the nose. On the tongue it is fresh, clean, full-bodied, harmonious and well-balanced. It finishes lightly sparkling with a light and fine bitterness.

(I can't take credit for the description of the beer, although I wholeheartedly agree.)
I'm trying to decide if my liver and stomach are up for more German debauchery this weekend...my guess is yes.

Totally

Agreed.

Sexy Rexy

Honestly, since the Steelers didn't make it to the big time this year, I wasn't really all that invested in the super bowl victory. I was rooting for the Bears, because I like Bears, and I think that Rex Grossman is sexy. That's pretty much my reason. He's definitely hotter than Peyton Manning (sorry, Nakia), so naturally, I'm goin for the team with the hotter quarterback.
I enjoyed the evening's festivites at my friend John's place, complete with homemade Chicago deep dish pizza, hot dogs, beer-a-plenty, mini cupcakes, and good old fashioned love for football.
And now it's Monday again, cold as shit, and I feel like I hardly had a weekend. Maybe that's because I was hungover for most of it. Who knows.
Back to work.

Shake that Laffy Taffy

Oh. My. God.

I AM SO EXCITED.

At my absolute demanding request, my sister applied to be a back-up dancer for Girl Talk's Las Vegas show. If you don't know about Girl Talk, you should. (Actually, most of you probably won't care, except for Robert and maybe Bucket and probably Nakia.) AANNNNYYYWAAYYYY, she applied to be a back-up dancer for Girl Talk- a perfect job for the ridiculous gal that she is. I told her that everytime I listen to the album, I start laughing on the subway, in the gym, at work, pretty much wherever I am, imagining her in a denim jumpsuit and wig, shakin' her thing to Girl Talk on stage in front of 7,000 people. Well, SHE GOT THE GIG.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She just called me at work, and we both did the "Ryon Silent Scream" on the phone, equally freaking out at how fucking awesome this is.

Here are the deets:
This will be a 7,000 person concert, and we will be opening for Kanye West, Gnarls Barkley, Spank Rock, and Lupe Fiasco. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
The majority of the audience is likely to be very stiff and not wanting to get down at this point in the show. It will be a ton of people staring at you. This will be outrageous, but I do not want it to be goofy.
Meaning, I don't want you to go out there and do an overstated running man, laughing for 20 minutes. I want people who are high energy but be very serious about it the entire time (regardless of how ridiculous
the situation is).
This show is for Chinese national TV, and there will be 200 Chinese diplomats there.

WHAT????????

There is not content that is allowed to be sexual or drug-related. So for your costumes and dance moves and everything else, I want it to be fun, but you have to stay "notsexual" as much as possible. They told me I can't take off any clothes.



Well, I have no idea how she's going to pull off "not being ridiculous", but I have absoulte faith that if anyone can tear this shit up, it's my little sister. Shake your laffy taffy, girl! (In a non-sexual way, of course.)

Snob

We get better with age.

It's hair, man

I'm sure you've all heard about this by now, but in case you haven't, read on. Personally, I think it's hair-larious.

Time for Savage Mountain

No shit.

Buckety

From Bucket to you.