They always say...
...you'll "find love when you least expect it". Ummm, right. I gotta tell ya, I've been least expecting finding anything for a long time, and I'm still coming up empty-handed. Yesterday, before meeting some Peabs for a Thai dinner mini-reunion, I almost ran (literally) into Gary- a man I dated briefly in the fall. This is the first time I have ever seen a former suitor (from New York, anyway). I never run into dudes I've dated in New York. It's a gigantic place. I wondered, if we never ran into each other before we met, why would we run into each other after the fact?
I was actually amazed at how thrown I was after seeing him. I don't think he saw me, and the text message to apologize for not saying hello confirmed that. "Funny! Hi!", he said. When we were dating, I liked him a lot, but I felt that there was something missing. At first, I couldn't put my finger on it- he's cute, very successful, hip, smart, funny, witty, and genuine. So what happened? I did. I happened. You can't force passion, and when it came right down to it, there was no passion. Nada. Zilch. I had a wonderful time with him and genuinely looked forward to seeing him, but I never left feeling breathless. Lately, I've been wondering if I'll ever feel breathless again.
A co-worker forwarded me this article. (A long read, but worth it.) In short, the article basically says instead of being overly choosey with men, it's OK for we women to settle, and in fact, we should settle. Who wants to be alone for the rest of her life? As a VERY independent woman, and also one who is not even 30, I can't say I wholeheartedly agree with her position, but I DO see her point. This woman is a 40-year-old single woman, who had a child via a sperm donor, and is now cursing herself for not settling earlier in her life. So when should we start thinking about settling? 28? 32? 37? Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to toss Gary aside- after all, my romantic ideals of Mr. Canada proved to be false.
I can honestly say I'm in no rush. Then again, I'm 27. I haven't had a relationship in a few years, and the thought of being in one terrifies me and excites me all at the same time. I'm not an idiot- I know the perfect man doesn't exist. I know that on some level, I'll always be settling. Perhaps if I'm still single at 35, I'll change my tune. But for now, I'm going to try and avoid running into any more Mr. Could-have-beens.
I was actually amazed at how thrown I was after seeing him. I don't think he saw me, and the text message to apologize for not saying hello confirmed that. "Funny! Hi!", he said. When we were dating, I liked him a lot, but I felt that there was something missing. At first, I couldn't put my finger on it- he's cute, very successful, hip, smart, funny, witty, and genuine. So what happened? I did. I happened. You can't force passion, and when it came right down to it, there was no passion. Nada. Zilch. I had a wonderful time with him and genuinely looked forward to seeing him, but I never left feeling breathless. Lately, I've been wondering if I'll ever feel breathless again.
A co-worker forwarded me this article. (A long read, but worth it.) In short, the article basically says instead of being overly choosey with men, it's OK for we women to settle, and in fact, we should settle. Who wants to be alone for the rest of her life? As a VERY independent woman, and also one who is not even 30, I can't say I wholeheartedly agree with her position, but I DO see her point. This woman is a 40-year-old single woman, who had a child via a sperm donor, and is now cursing herself for not settling earlier in her life. So when should we start thinking about settling? 28? 32? 37? Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to toss Gary aside- after all, my romantic ideals of Mr. Canada proved to be false.
I can honestly say I'm in no rush. Then again, I'm 27. I haven't had a relationship in a few years, and the thought of being in one terrifies me and excites me all at the same time. I'm not an idiot- I know the perfect man doesn't exist. I know that on some level, I'll always be settling. Perhaps if I'm still single at 35, I'll change my tune. But for now, I'm going to try and avoid running into any more Mr. Could-have-beens.
posted by Hilary at
7:09 AM
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2 comments
