Anyone for a really really small piece of vegan soy pizza?

Brilliant.

All aboard the idiot train

My plan for an afternoon off proved to be more difficult than I originally thought. Apparently, Kharma decided to stick it to me, and eff up my intentions for banking and shoe shopping.
I had a temporary brain lapse while traveling on the subway, after leaving work. I got on the wrong train (i.e. going in the wrong direction) not once, not twice, but three times. How does this happen? Did I just forget that 23 comes AFTER 14? I think part of it is, I'm getting used to my path. I'm used to the number of stops before I need to get off and switch trains. I don't have to look up or listen- I can just feel it. Autopilot kicks in, and common sense disappears.
So instead of depositing my check, GETTING my damn checks from the bank, and finding some new cute shoes, I walked about 1.5 miles out of my way, and rode the subway for over an hour straight. Brilliant.

Buh-Bye

Well folks, I finally got a full time job. I start tomorrow at Columbia- in the Alumni Relations Development Dpt. It sounds fancy (re: Hopkins Neuroscience), but once again, it's purely admin. And I'm OK with that.
I actually interviewed for this job months ago, but just never heard anything. I was very surprised to get an email, asking if I was still interested/available last Friday. Being that I'm currently rotting away from boredom and annoyance at my temp post, I said yes, and can I start this afternoon? After a dispute with my temp agent (she wanted me to stay here for the remainder of the week), I decided that I would only be working a half day today. I told them I have an audition, but honestly- I have errands to run. So cheers to me!
So we'll see how it goes. The commute will be a bit longer than I would like (probably an hour door to door), but them's the breaks. I love the UWS, so I will also be able to stop at Zabar's after work, or Central Park, or Lincoln Center. Plus I get tuition exemption, and will able to take a class or two with just fees due. Not a bad deal, if I do say so myself. Oh- and I'm working right beside Riverside church- audition central!
As for now, I must get back to filing for my remaining two hours here. Oh joy. Oh rapture.

Big Buck Britches

Last Saturday night, while guzzling beers at 7B, we discovered a pair of women's underwear behind an arcade game machine. Now, who knows how/why they got there- let alone if they were clean or dirty. Ew. I'm sure if you head over to Robert's blog, you'll see the "panty pic". (Yep, I said it. And I hate the word too!)

Anyway, I was doing some laundry last night, and as I was leaving, one of the "Laundry attendants" tapped me on the shoulder and said "uh, excuse me miss- you dropped these." A pair of black undies. Not just black, but black lace. Ya. I laughed nervously and said thanks, but before I could leave, yet ANOTHER laundry attendant held up a pair of pink undies (also mine), asking the ENTIRE laundromat whose they were. There was no way I could admit to dropping not one, but 2 pairs of underwear. Unlike my personal life, my underwear was just flying around that place. After she asked the third dude (who happened to be cute) if they belonged to him, I high-tailed it outta that joint before my obvious faux pas was public knowledge.

Point of the story? Make sure you wear good underwear.

You make me feel so nasty

I had a plan. I was going to tell Robert that the Scissor Sisters show at the Bowery Ballroom tonight was OK. I was going to tell him it was just OK until I realized he could see right through me and know I was lying to his face. But I just know that he will take comfort in the fact that SS's home base is indeed our fair city, and they will be playing here again, once the new album is released. He will see them then. I have no doubt.
That being said, I have to say that tonight was one of the most entertaining shows I have seen in a while. In fact, I would say it's the most entertaining thing I've seen since NIN. The band was amazing, the venue was awesome, and I stood next to Anderson Cooper. (Hear that, Lauren? We joked about it so much it actually came true! Unfortunately, he did not impregnate me, so all I have is standing next to Anderson Cooper for part of a gay pop concert. Not even the whole thing. He was wearing jeans, a tee shirt, and a cap.)
In addition to Mr. CNN, I ran into Heatherette (and once again, I did actually run into Richie Rich. I really need to watch where I'm going.) I also saw Karl Lagerfeld, who is about 100, and Kylie Minogue. They were standing together in the balcony.
I really hope Robert doesn't hate me. I will of course tell him all this in the morning before he reads this, so he will know that my ticket wasn't entirely free as was the plan. But that's OK. I'm filthy gorgeous.

Maybe THAT's why I'm single

Last night, between many rounds of PBR, my friend Bucket and I got to discussing relationships, hookups, being approachable- you know: singleness. I had made a joke earlier in the week, telling Bucket that all I wanted for my birthday was a date. I was joking...sort of. That's not to say I was on a manhunt last night, but I thought that MAYBE I would talk to at least one attractive, single, straight stranger last night. Well I did- enough to say, "what? yeah, your umbrella is over here." Score.
Bucket pointed out the obvious- I'm hanging out with 3 dudes. Be it that they are all queer, we were in mixed company. I mean, I didn't believe Bucket when he told me he was gay, so for all anyone knows, I could be with my boyfriend and 2 of his friends. Secondly, I'm not so sure I have any "game". How am I supposed to look in order to be approached? Honestly, I was one of the more attractive girls out last night (where we were, at least). Yet, nuttin. What am I doing wrong?
As Robert wrote about in last week's Dirty Laundry, I have a "No Bullshit" rule when it comes to dating. I would honestly rather be by myself, bullshit free, than have to deal with the possible trials and tribulations of wading through puddles of it. Call me crazy- but at least there's only ONE crazy. And although my no BS stance is certainly here to stay, I consider flexibility once in a while.
Take, for instance, my crush. This crush (we'll call him "Jack") has been an acquaintance of mine for years, but only recently has become a better friend. I don't really know him all that well, yet I'm 12 years old when he talks to me. He sends me really vague signals, and I honestly have no idea what his feelings/intentions are toward me. You would think, being that I don't do the BS, I'd either call him out on it, or forget about it. But no- it pretty much consumes me every time we talk, and I just can't bring myself to say, "Self- this is lame. Tell him to shit or get off the pot."
So I'm not sure where this puts me. On one hand, I love the crush rush, but on the other hand, I have to be smart about it. Perhaps there's room for just a STITCH of shit.

Starting off on the wrong foot

The wrong choice in footwear can be absolutely fatal in a city like New York. Everyone walks, everywhere. And I love it! I love that I'm getting extra exercise in addition to my weekly gym routine. What I don't love is having to run 65 errands in heels. It's just no fun. Most of the time, if I plan to wear heels out for the evening, I know I'll be complaining at some point that my feet are bleeding. I usually rely on alcohol to numb that pain.
But, since I can't go to work drunk (or can I?), I am on a quest for the perfect shoes. I've compiled a list of what they must be. I doubt I'll find them- it's next to impossible. It's like finding the perfect man- he only exists on TV.
Anyway, here are the crucials:

1. Must fit well. No sliding, no slipping off the back of the foot, no toe pinching. NO blisters.
2. Must match a lot of things. Generally, I wear lighter colors in the summer, so something in a tan shade might be more ideal than black. Then again, I love color- so something red or pink might work too.
3. Must be in vogue. Nothing '90s.
4. Must be able to go from day to night.
5. Must have a SLIGHT heel, as I'm fairly short.
6. Must be affordable. (I.E., I'm not spending $300.00)


That about does it for my must-haves. If anyone can come up with a shoe that fits all of these requirements, please let me know. Summer is upon us, and something tells me my black knee-high boots are just a STITCH too warm.

Just in the nick of time

According to the real estate article I just read, MARKT will be moving this summer, due to luxory hotel expansion.

That sucks.

I really hope it moves to an equally fabulous location, as it really was a great place.

Happy birthday to meeeeeee

Well we just got in from a wonderful evening of drinks, food, and cheesecake. Robert, Amanda, and I met Erin (Cavanaugh for those of you from Peabody) and Erin's boyfriend Tim for dinner at a place in the Meat Packing District called Markt. I randomly discovered Markt on a flier (which I stole from work) about the Meat Packing District. Turns out this handy little meat guide lists all the hot restaurants, bars, and shops in the area. Lucky for us, Markt made the cut.
Markt is a Belgian-inspired joint, serving up 29 different Belgian beers. The location was great- only a block from the subway, in the heart of the MPD. The restaurant itself takes up half a block, with outdoor seating, but windows that open up and make the indoor seating also seem outdoor. Make sense?
Anyway, I arrived about 1/2 hour before anyone else, so I asked the bartender for a beer recommendation. (Any bartender whose fade resembeles Vanilla Ice and starts out the convo with 'What can I get ya, pretty lady?' deserves my attention). I had a Belgian-style blonde that is actually brewed in Cooperstown, NY. It was gooooood.
After everyone arrived, we sat (and waited a while, but it was busy) and gossiped/caught up. More beers later (Delerium Tremens, Dan), we ate. (I ate Hoegaarden-steam mussels and frites), and talked some more. I likey this place.
After we were sufficiently full, we hit the road and Robert and I popped into the bakery across the street for some sweet returns.
All in all, a great day. I was so glad I had great friends with whom I could celebrate, and who were up for some Wednesday night drinkin! Cheers.

Memories of a birthday past

OK, so it's not quite here yet, but something reminded me of what I was doing 5 years ago tomorrow, on my 21st birthday.
At the time, I was dating a guy named Steve. I had been dating him for a while at that point, so I knew that he was a decent gift-giver. For Christmas that year, he had given me a sweater that I didn't remember pointing out, but I was pleasantly surprised that he remembered. For Valentine's Day, he gave me pajamas, and won a bunch of stuff off of the radio, like free (nearly dead) roses, a free Chinese lunch, and a "special message" to me on air- he said "umm...wanna make out?"
Plus, he would do random nice things like buy me the new Radiohead cd the night it came out when I was having a bad day.
Like I said, good gift-giver.
So my birthday arrived, and we made lunch plans. He would pick me up after class, before University Choir rehearsal, and I would enjoy my first legal adult beverage. So, he picked me up, and in the car, handed me a wrapped gift. He was excited. "Happy birthday!!! Open it!!!" I looked at the oddly shaped package, and thought "what the hell?" But I opened it. Admid his glee, my face had to be priceless when I unwrapped the paper to find a Simpsons figuerine of Mo. "Get it? MO! Mo's the bartender! Cause you're 21", Steve said. "Yeah. I get it. Thanks." I wasn't smiling. I was absolutely confused. I'd been dating the guy for over 7 months, and all I get is a lunch and Simpsons toy?!!!?!??!! He could tell.
We arrived at the restaurant (a cute, artsy little place), and I ordered a glass of wine pronto. Steve was smiling. "What?" I said.
"Hahah. You thought that Mo was your gift, didn't you?"
"Well, ya. I mean, and lunch. And drinks tonight. Really, it's fine. Thank you."
"Man. I can't believe you thought that was the best I'd do." He handed me an envelope- inside was a gift certificate to a very nice spa in town, to basically get whatever I wanted times 2. I smiled and laughed and hugged him.
"You should have seen your face in the car. You were PISSED." He laughed.
I was! But it turns out that his good gift-giving sense also came with a side of humor.
He may not have been the right guy for me, but at least he knew how to give me a happy birthday.

Celeb Sighting No. 1

I just saw Heather Matazarro in Whole Foods. "Who?", you ask. Exactly.
She was in the Princess Diaries 2, an episode of Rosanne, and a Lifetime movie. At least, that's how I recognized her. Google it- you may recognize her too!

You done with that machine? *wink wink*

New York is full of beautiful people. Men, women, children, even pretty dogs. It's difficult to walk down the street and not see someone attractive. I like to think that chance of locking eyes with Tyson Beckford is what keeps me from leaving the house in unflattering pants and a sweatshirt. Except when I'm doing laundry- then I really don't care.
For the past two years, I was working out at the DAC. I liked the DAC because it was mostly gay men. No pressure! I don't think anyone actually checks me out when I'm on the treadmill, so I've never been too concerned with my gym appearance. With the exception of Dan, hot Asian trainer, and some other random hot straight guy that would come to Gay Abs sometimes, I really didn't even notice guys at the DAC. Makes for a pretty easy workout environment.
But now that I'm here, and work out at New York Sports Clubs, the pressure is on. Lots of pretty people- everywhere I look. And most of them aren't gay! Yikes!
I'm still not too concerned with my gym appearance; if a guy is gonna pick me up at the gym, I figure he's seeing me at my most sweaty. I just have to make sure I have good breath, and matching outfits.

Back to life...back to reality

I don't think I realized what a huge life change I have made until yesterday. After a long-ass run through Central Park Saturday morning, Robert and I headed to Penn Station to ride the expensive train to Baltimore. We came back for Easter Vigil, and 2 Easter morning services at St. David's. It was quite the whirlwind trip- we really only had time to eat, sing, sleep, sing, and eat again.
Somewhere between singing and eating, the massive 180 hit me. The transition with the move was pretty smooth- no rough patches, a great apartment, jobs, and friends. But it really is quite different from my routine in Baltimore. No car, no big houses, no mall in every direction, no MD crabs. Of course, these things can all be made up for in NYC- or can they?
Here, there is any cuisine imaginable, any shop imaginable, any bar, any music, any person...but it just isn't quite as simple. It's bigger, scarier, more expensive, and much crazier. It's a lifestyle- it really is.
That being said, I'm sure I'll feel more at home in the weeks/months to come. For now, I still kind of feel like I'm playing house. I am still waiting to arrive at the Baltimore Travel Plaza, get in my car, and drive back to Roland Park, where I'll come home to Ashley watching Lifetime and playing on the internet.

A few things

Here's what's on my mind as I go into the 5th hour of updating Outlook Contacts:

1) I absoultely loathe the "adult baby voice". You know what I mean? When adult women sound like 5 year old girls. It's terribly irritating. What's worse is when the adult baby voice crosses over into singing! (Example- Lisa Loeb. Sorry! I think she's cute as a button, but I can't stand her baby voice).

2) Why do we have to work for 8 hours or longer per day? We are working our lives away. Of course, this has always been a problem with Americans- we have no midday break, no respite after lunch. Stinks.

3) There is a Whole Foods in this building, and I have been there every day this week to buy fruit, or a Luna bar, or (today) a parfait. DANGEROUS. I must stop.

4) I think I know where I want to have dinner on my birthday.

5) I think I know where I want to have my birthday party.

6) The bathroom in this building (on my floor, at least) is really nice and clean. I almost think there should be a paper towel lady up in there.

And finally, 7)I can't wait for dinner. Is it time to go yet?

I'll have a refill, please

This is the coffee maker in the kitchen where I'm working. I can't get over it. How cool is that? All you do is load the little container of coffee- you don't even have to open it!- stick your cup underneath the spout, and boom! 10 seconds later there is coffee. Like I told Robert, it's not as strong as fresh brewed java, and not QUITE as tastey either, but it works. It's free, easy, and fast. 3 things I like in coffee and in men.

What are you gonna sing?

Yesterday, after a gym-full morning, and rainy afternoon shopping excursion, Robert, Amanda, and I decided to be singer-y, and go to Cafe Tacci.Caffe Taci is a little Italian restaraunt turned Opera Karaoke on Friday and Saturday nights. I guess karaoke is the wrong word, since there is an actual accompanist and not a CD. Singers (I assumed from the music schools in the city), grace the patrons with arias, art song, duets, trios, etc., while people wine and dine, late-night.
We arrived, un-warmed-up, and were pleasantly surprised at the large, warm tenor voice that could be heard on the sidewalk. There were 4 singers on the docket for the evening, all with big voices. I think we heard most of Boheme in our 2 hours there. The singing was pretty good, for the most part, although some of the singers performed rep they would NEVER be hired to sing. (I.E.- big black girl with mezzo/big soprano voice singing Susanna from Figaro.) I must admit, although the 3 of us are not your typical classical singers (in that we don't constantly talk shop and bust out trios at parties), it was nice and a relief to be able to talk about singing last night. We critiqued the performances, and made plans of what we will sing upon our return.

Idiocy

I happened to be browsing some blogs this evening (yes, it's Friday night, but I'm tired and poor, mkay?), and came across this post. Try to look past the misspelled words and horrible typing mistakes and bad grammar. Ashley- take a stab at who wrote it?!

i watched brokeback mountain .. omg what a lame,boring,slow ass moving movie .. i'm open minded to the whole gay love story . but goddamn ... i was actually thinking on better things i could be doing with my time .. but was like .,. no i haveto watch it .. there has to be a good moment. since it was nominated 8TIMES .. and nothing . i love cowboys .. believe me omg lol always had a thing for cowboy hats . and it wasnt even a good western lol .. damn

Big Wig

I'm at work- first day of temping at a rather large real estate firm here in Manhattan. I'm working at the Time Warner Building (large mall, Lincoln Center Jazz, Manderin Oriental Hotel), and kind of hoping I run into Wynton Marsalis. I've been here a week and have yet to see a celeb. What gives?

Anyway, the job is good. I spend the morning working in Excel, entering PR info. After our catered lunch (I guess I'll save my PBJ for after work), I'll copy a million articles before putting them all in binders. And, my supervisor said I could check my email/ "spend a little time on the internet". Nice.

Happy hour this eve with John Tiranno, and then it's probably bed time for me. These long days are not something I'm used to.

This is the life?

I've been in New York for 6 days now, and it's starting to feel like home. The apartment is mostly together (as soon as Bobbo finishing unpacking tonight), and we FINALLY have internet and cable. Yes, I'm excited about having cable. I like the Food Network and Lifetime, ok? Plus, it's been amazing just how much we have needed internet access over the past week. Luckily, there is a cyber cafe just across the street, so we have been able to check email.
I've had two interviews with temp agencies, and one interview for a temp-to-perm position, but am still not working. I actually don't mind- it gives me a chance to walk aimlessly around Manhattan and sleep past 8:00 AM. Although, I'm really hoping that changes by next week. While it's great having the biggest city in America at my fingertips, I feel as though my hands are tied. Without a job, I have no money coming in. No money means no going out. In fact, Robert, Amanda, and I had a drink at a cute bar 2 blocks away last night, and my vodka tonic was $8.00. In Queens! Granted, I had Ketel One Vodka, and it was a hip bar, but still. That just goes to show that it don't matter where you are- this place ain't cheap.
So, for now I'll bask in being able to do free things like take an hour-long walk through Central Park (I did that this AM), and orient myself with the LES (that's on tomorrow's agenda). Then, fingers crossed, my house wife role will come to an end.

Hello, New York

OK. This is gonna have to be a quickie. I'm actually sitting in City Cafe, in beloved Baltimore, waiting for my mom and sis to meet me. Long story short- had a gig in Naptown, mom is meeting me here to get the car, and since we don't have the 'net yet in Queens, here I am.
The move went well. We had a ton of help, and are very grateful for that. Ryan Stadler was a trooper all afternoon. I'm sure when Robert posts, his description will be full of way more details, but I don't have time for that now. So here's the quick-n-dirty:
Apt- gorgeous and awesome
'Hood- Awesome..good food, good people, 2 blocks to the train
Stuff IN the apt- overflowing/whelming. I think the trash can is calling us.
Jobs- nope. don't got one yet.
State of self- exhausted, but pleased.

In the words of Annie, "I think I'm gonna like it here!"