Snippets from Science

Monday, October 31, 2005

Ye Old Biological Clock

OK...so I'm the first to admit that I'm not 100% sure of motherhood is in the cards for me. BUT, I just teared up for the first time looking at a baby. GAH! I think it's because I am feeling particularly hormonal this week...

Anyway, a postdoc from my lab has his son in today, a 6 month old Asian boy, and we all know how adorable Asian babies are, named Christopher. Christopher is dressed up like a CHICKEN for Halloween. Hawk and all. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen. As Christopher is sitting there, apathetic to his costume, every woman in the office is oooing and awwing. He was smiling and wriggling, and I felt myself getting emotional because of the degree of cuteness and his fat cheeks. What is wrong with me? I'm not supposed to have a biological clock yet. It's too early!

Idiots

Why do people feel the need to press the "up" or "down" elevator button more than once? If someone is waiting for the elevator, and has already pressed the button (ie- it's lit up), why press it again? It doesn't come any faster. It's not like there is a little operator in the shaft being like, "Oh crap! I forgot it was pressed once already. Better get to floor 3!" UGH.

Candy from HEEELLLLL

Halloween candy- everywhere I look! Lord give me the strength to not eat the Kit Kats and Milky Ways that line the hallway today. * Side note- I just remembered something lame, but funny that I said on Saturday night. Cory also had candy and CAKE at his Shining gathering on Sat. and when he was standing by the food table, I said "Hey Cory! Toss me a Kit Kat! Break me off a piece of that!" Bahahah. I'm funny.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Happy Halloween!


Jeff "finger football" Boehmer.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Scared Shitless

OK..so it's 12:08 AM, well really 11:08 PM because of ye old daylight savings, and I'm wide awake. Not because I had too much caffeine, or because I took a nap, but because I just watched The Shining at Cory's and now I'm scared shitless. Even though I watched it with a room full of people, most of whom had seen it before, I'm still frightened. It had been a loonnggg time since I had seen the movie, so I forgot about a lot of parts. Wow. Really the scariest movie ever. Or, as Ashley would put it, scariest.movie.ever. So now I'm here, at my apartment, all alone (true to form, Ashley is out), and I can't sleep. Lest we forget about the banging pipes! The heat LOUDLY comes on every 20 minutes, combined with The Shining aftermath, and all I can think about is when is Jack Nicholson going to appear out of nowhere and kill me with an axe. Keep in mind, last night I was in NYC, so I didn't get more than 6 hours of sleep before I got up at the crack of dawn for my audition, and the few nights prior, I didn't get much sleep because of the heaters.
So, here I am, alone, did I mention alone? No one is online to talk to me, because everyone is out partying it up. I can't because I have to sing in 10 hours. So I'll just sit here, alone and scared, until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open. Wow..I should sound really good tomorrow.

Workie

Oh thank God. My search for a job in New York is over.

The Harlem Shake

I know I've said this plenty of times, but I really can't wait to move to New York. So there- I said it again! Hah! Deal with it.
Anyway, I was up Friday night and this AM for an audition, and feel more at home each time I go. I'm not afraid anymore, and I'm getting better at navigating my way 'round the undergroud. I met my friend Jonathan for dinner in Union Square on Friday night. We had good sushi and some drinks, and I caught up on some hometown gossip. Then I headed uptown, where I was staying, and got up eeeeeeeeeeearly this AM for an audition. Sang well, although I forgot the words in the middle of an aria, and got back on the bus to come back to Bawlmer. It all seems like a blur now, but walking the streets of New York in the evening is so exciting! So many people...so many beautiful men..I mean people! Yes..there are people. Everyone has somewhere to go, someplace to be. I like it. I'll have somehwere to go and someplace to be too. I hope.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Quickie

I don't have much time here, folks...busy at work (!), and I'm leaving for NYC in a few hours. Like an idiot, I didn't get my stuff together for New York last night, and was rushing to get everything packed this AM. I forgot my cell phone. So now I have to leave work earlier so I can rush home, grab my junk, and then get to the bus terminal. Grr.

In addition to my crazy morning, I was kept awake most of the night by the heating system from HELL. I was complaining several evenings ago about not having any heat, but as soon as they turned it on (we don't get to control our own heat), the hell began. It's like a sauna in the apartment now. Better than being frozen, I guess. And not only is it balmy conditions indoors, but the radiators make SO MUCH noise that it sounds like someone is being shot- repeatedly. And hammers...lots of hammers banging on metal things. The best part is, the radiators in Ashley and my rooms are RIGHT NEXT to our beds. So we get to hear it all night long! Every 2 hours or so. If this doesn't end by next week, I'll have to make a call. Because honestly, I don't think I can deal with it all winter. It's that loud.

OK...back to work.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Fatty Bobalatty

There is this woman, we'll call her "Shmee", who works in a certain "Shmurchasing" department at one "Smohn's Shmopkins Shmuniversity". Shmee is a first rate bitch. I don't know her personally, but I've had to deal with her several times on the phone, and she is so rude and unhelpful. Well it just so happens that Ms. Personality works in my sister's office. "What does she look like?", I asked Ashley. "Well she's short and round..fat." I laughed...that's what I thought. But somehow, what I was picturing what not exactly what this woman looks like. I saw her today when I was picking Ash up from work, and she's round alright- rrRRRRrrround! With terrible, long, scaggy hair. And bad roots. Worse than mine in the summer. Worse than I pictured!
If this woman wasn't so completely nasty and unaccommodating to EVERYone on the phone, I wouldn't be so petty. I really am better than that. But she's a meanie. So she's only getting what she deserves.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Autumn Mix Part Deux

In an effort to surprise me, my sister bought a big 'ol bag of AUTUMN MIX today. I must say I was pretty happy, and had a few pumpkins and candy corn. But now it's just sitting on the coffee table, taunting me. I can already feel my tummy ache coming on...

Fried Oysters, Please

I used to work here and the food really is that good. Dammit I need to find a rich man before I move to New York.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Yawn

I'm super tired today. I'm not really sure why. I got my 8 hours last night. I think maybe it's because I was off coffee all last week, and now I'm back on it- and I'm crashing hard. My caffeine buzz only lasts for an hour max now. I used to only occasionally drink le cafe, and I would have a nice buzz for several hours. Plus I'm less busy today than I was yesterday, so I'm noticing how slow the time is going. The shit weather doesn't help. I like that it's finally cool, but I could do without several days a week of rain. Oo! Phone call!

Short phone call. I'm not even sure if I know what the caller's question was. That's how tired I am.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Make my Day

It might be 9:36 PM, but it's not too late to make my day. My friend Jeff, clarinetist extrodinaire that graced my recital with his presence, left a message telling me that several of his friends thought our recording of Shepherd on the Rock was a professional recording. Technically, I guess it is a professional recording, since we are both professional musicians. BUT....what his friend meant was, who are the famous people that we are listening to. That's the best news I've heard all day. Actually, it's the best news I've heard in the past several days. Maybe even in the past month.
Yeah! "We fooled 'em", Jeff said. Yup....sure did.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Bingo!

Go to the Ottobar on any given night, and you are sure to win this game!

Land of the Dead

Zombie movies get confusing after a while...Dawn of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead...we're running out of titles, people!
At any rate, zombies are eating brains on my TV as I type this..pretty typcial, I know. What is also typical is that my car was burglarized AGAIN. As I was getting ready to leave for church this morn, I discovered that my back door bad been left slightly ajar, running down the battery, and not allowing my car to start. Great. The asshole rummaged through my Smiths tapes yet again, didn't steal anything, and managed to leave the door open so I can't drive to church. Perfect. Luckily, my sister was home, so I borrowed her vehicle and was only 5 minutes late for choir. The funny thing is, I wasn't even surprised this time. I was pissed; OHH I was pissed. I even cried for a few minutes before leaving for church, but I wasn't surprised. Someone is obviously targeting my car. Why? I have no idea. They haven't found a thing, except a tube of dry skin cream...I'm sure they were upset to find that it is not a narcotic. Yes, I have the only 10 yr old car on the block. Yes, I have the only car (besides my sister's) on the block that is not equipped with an alarm system. I'm actually looking into getting one now, even though I will no longer need a car in a few months.
Oh well. That's life. I sang a good recital yesterday, so therefore, something shitty has to happen to me today. It only makes sense.

Friday, October 21, 2005

The Final Solution

I've been the holocaust museum sevetal times, and studied it pretty extensively in school, but until a few days ago, I never knew Hitler referred to his plan as the "Final Solution". I'm an idiot.


http://www.thephatphree.com/Features.asp?SectionID=12&StoryID=1612&LayoutType=1

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Fashion Police

OK...I can't afford to buy Gucci, Prada, or Chanel...but I do manage to look decent most of the time. I'm sure I've participated in some fashion blunders (i.e. overalls throughout my time as a college student), but now that I've been an urban gal for several years, I've caught up with the times. That being said, I have to call a fashion foul when I see one: Wrap-around dress+jeans= bad outfit. I've always HATED the skirt+pants, or dress+pants combo. I think it looks rediculous, I dont care how skinny you are. A dress is supposed to be feminine; flowy or tight, short or long, patterned or plain, it's feminine. When paired with a pair of pants, which are more masculine, it takes the femininity out of the skirt. It also makes the person wearing the horrible combination look like she's trying too hard. Why not pair your dress with a funky pair of stockings? It's classier and sexier than jeans. Or a fun pair of shoes? Good shoes are a must, and can get lost under a pair of pants.

So....whoever that girl is that created a serious fashion offence (she was also sporting a huge scarf wrapped around her shoulders) needs to be written up. Too bad I left my badge at home today.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Blogzeit

This blog is great for practicing my German!

http://5ug4rc04t3d.blogspot.com/

Does anyone have a dictionary?

Hook it up

It's not bad enough that I have my mother insinuating that I need a date, and preferably an older one with money, but now I have my boss on my trail. Not that I mind...afterall, I do work in Neuroscience. I figure if there are any single, attractive, NORMAL brain scientists out there, my boss knows them-or of them.
At any rate, Boss Lady just suggested that I work the registration table at the upcoming gala. That way, I can check out all the grad students, post doctoral students, PhDs, and MDs that walk through the door. Not a bad idea. There is bound to be at least a handful of attractive men. Or at least one.
We'll see.

Up under Neef 'ere

For yinz guys-n-at:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

That's what I'm Talkin About

Once again, I can't wait to move to New York. If I live in Brooklyn, and even if I don't, I'll be checking out Laila's Longue:


Laila suffers from the same problem as The Pod used to: it's a big space, so unless there's 100 people in there, it looks empty...Which leads to it often being empty, because folks walk by, look in, and say, "Golly, it looks empty. Must be lame." Too bad. Laila may have the best Happy Hour in town: $2 for any of their tap beers (and we're not talking crap, like Pabst) until 8 PM. The other night I ambled in, pondered plopping onto one of their big, swanky couches, but chose the bar instead. I had a Brooklyn Weisse and a small feta cheese and olive plate. Total bill: $5 plus tip. Check it out while it lasts- it' just a stone's throw from Planet Thai.

Halloween Heaven

I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I LOVE candy pumpkins. You know what I mean...those little marshmellow, but hard, candies that come in the "Autumn Mix" bag with candy corn. The candy corn you can find year-round. But the pumpkins are a once-a-year treat. I love them. I have always loved them. I think it's because my mom always used to buy a bag or 2 when I was a kid, so they were filling the candy dishes. Comfort food.
Anyway, I can never purchase a bag of the pumpkins, and they do sell JUST the pumpkins, because I will eat the entire bag...probably in one sitting. That's gross, isn't it? But what's even grosser, is that I can do it. And I will feel horribly sick afterwards, but I'd still do it. In fact, in a moment of extreme weakness, I purchased a bag of "Autumn Mix", and ate most of the pumpkins out of the mix. After the pumpkins, I ate the corn..and kept eating. Before I knew it, I had eaten half the bag. I didn't feel well. I gave the remainder of the bag to Robert.
I haven't purchased corn or pumpkins since that night, but when I was home last weekend, true to form, my mother had a bag of the pumpkins sitting on the counter. I ate 3- only 3. I'm proud of myself.
Now the problem is, our office secretary brought in some "Autumn Mix", (and yes, I feel it's necessary to put it in quotations) and it's just staring at me, laughing at me, teasing me from within the candy jar in her office. I had a pumpkin and a few corns yesterday, but I've decided that in order to not eat anymore "Mix", I will just imagine how many unwashed hands have grazed the inside of that candy dish. There. That's even grosser than me polishing off a whole bag.

Dude. Bro. Dude.

The Phat Phree strikes again!



http://www.thephatphree.com/Features.asp?SectionID=11&StoryID=1593&LayoutType=1

Monday, October 17, 2005

Well Whaddaya Know

It appears that one of the Phat Phree is pretty close to home. Right on!


http://www.thephatphree.com/Features.asp?SectionID=11&StoryID=1585&LayoutType=1

Back to the Grizzle

After a weekend of gigging, auditioning, and rehearsing, I feel like a real singer! How about that. I spend my days behind a Mac, typing up invoices, reimbursements, and other vital information to my department. It's nice to get paid to do something that's pretty mundane, but it's even nicer to feel like an actual, busy singer. That feeling sort of disappears after school.

At any rate, I was only at my apartment long enough to sleep all weekend, so I'm a bit tired. But not tired enough to be irritated (still..and forever) and the driving in this city. My new favorite annoying Baltimore driver thing is the straddling of two lanes. Apparently, some people just can't choose a favorite lane. Right or left? Left or right? I just DON'T know. So I'll pick both...that way, no one can get around me and I'll annoy the piss out of the person in front of me and behind me. Don't mind me! I'm just your typical shit-ass Baltimore driver.

My friend Alex, who lives in Miami, swears that Miami drivers are the cream of the crazy crop. I don't know about that, pal....I may have to challenge you to a shitty city driver dual! May the worst driver win. En guarde!

Friday, October 14, 2005

I'm Fancy

OK....so yes, my job title is "Secretary III", but I don't actually do much secretarial work. I hardly answer the phone. In fact, up until about 2 weeks ago, no one ever called me, except my church choir director and occaisonally, Robert. But lately, I've been receiving and making all sorts of important phone calls, due to the huge gala my department is hosting in 4 weeks. It's been a large project in the making for the past year. I started working here ALMOST a year ago, and was first introduced to the 'gala business' after my first week of work. I didn't really start working hard on the gala until February, and when I finally became full time in March, I was all gala all the time.
My name, work phone, and email address is on every invitation, brochure, and the website. I'm kind of famous! Well, in the response/questions about Neuroscience gala world. The ladies in my office were joking with me, saying I should wear a name tag on the evening of the gala. I just might. Especially if there are any hot, single brain doctors there.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Have Another

Why does this sound like someone I know? Make that, some PEOPLE I know?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Good One

The Onion hits another home run:


Bush To Appoint Someone To Be In Charge Of Country

WASHINGTON, DC—In response to increasing criticism of his handling of the war in Iraq and the disaster in the Gulf Coast, as well as other issues, such as Social Security reform, the national deficit, and rising gas prices, President Bush is expected to appoint someone to run the U.S. as soon as Friday.
"During these tumultuous times, America is in need of a bold, resolute person who can get the job done," said Bush during a press conference Monday. "My fellow Americans, I assure you that I will appoint just such a person with all due haste."
The Cabinet-level position, to be known as Secretary of the Nation, was established by an executive order Sept. 2, but has remained unfilled in the intervening weeks.
"I've been talking to folks from all across this country, from Louisiana to Los Angeles, and people tell me the same thing: This nation needs a strong, compassionate leader," Bush said. "In response to these concerns, I'm making this a top priority. I will name a good, qualified person as soon as possible."
Among the new secretary's duties are preserving, protecting, and defending the Constitution of the United States, commanding the U.S. armed forces, appointing judges and ambassadors, and vetoing congressional legislation. The secretary will also be tasked with overseeing all foreign and domestic affairs, including those relating to the economy, natural disasters, national infrastructure, homeland security, poverty, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The secretary will report directly to the president.
For weeks, members of both political parties have been urging Bush to fill the post.
"Every day the president waits is another day he's accountable for needless deaths at home and abroad, the stagnating economy, and the threat of terrorism," Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) said. "This post is far too vital to be left vacant. Mr. President, there is no reason to delay."
"I applaud the president's decision to find a strong leader for our country, but it's imperative that he make his selection soon," said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), adding that he and all Democrats hope to work closely with the new national executive.
"In the spirit of bipartisanship, we will welcome the new secretary," Reid said. "Together, we will strive for a new dawn of American politics, one unmarred by partisan bickering between Congress and the White House."
According to a nationwide poll conducted by the Cook Political Report, the majority of U.S. citizens find the question of national leadership to be highly significant, with 61 percent of respondents "strongly" believing that the country is suffering from a leadership vacuum. Fifty-four percent said they trusted Bush to find an appointee who will be able to effectively manage the country.
While many Beltway insiders have named senators Barack Obama (D-IL) and John McCain (R-AZ) as likely candidates, White House sources revealed that Bush may be leaning toward a stalwart loyalist. The list reportedly includes fellow Yale graduates, Midland, TX business associates, and various GOP fundraisers with connections to the Bush family.
"Despite their inexperience in government, they've clearly passed the Bush character test," said a White House staffer who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "I think the president is looking for someone he's comfortable with and can trust, above all else. A [former FEMA director] Michael Brown type, or maybe even Brown himself."
Bush said the creation of the Secretary of the Nation post directly addresses the increasingly complex and sometimes overwhelming challenges facing the executive branch in the 21st century. Although he acknowledged that the tasks facing the new appointee will be extraordinary, Bush ended his announcement on a positive note.
"As your president, it is my duty to see this nation through any crisis, no matter how severe. And as your president, I pledge to you that I will find a man capable of doing just that," Bush said. "I will not—I repeat, I will not—let you down."

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Shit Show

Things going OK recently? Excited about a busy month? Then it MUST be time for a shit show! Yes...you can't always get what you want. Especially when what you want is for your car not to cost you any more money and to last you another 6 months. Such is my case. My car, although it has been good to me for the last 5 years, is inching quickly toward death. I've spent too much money on it in the last few months, and this morning, in the parking garage, it died. Not sure what the trouble is this time- I have to wait for it to be towed and then examined. (Examined? Is that a car word?)

Whatever the case may be, rest assured that it WILL cost more money than the car is worth and it WILL take me several months to pay it off.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Ich habe...

Dammit! I want to go to Oktoberfest.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Maintain Don't Gain

Is anyone else already excited for Thanksgiving?

I'm not Bitter, but...

I can't stand lovey-dovey couples. Now, it's true...I am a single gal. As I have stated many-a-time before, I like being single, but I'm not against relationships either. However, my high standards and lack of ability to put up with bullshit sort of limit my options. But I digress...

While standing in line at the grocery store this evening, I was forced to listen to a nauseating couple behind me. Now they were cute- I'll give them that. Right down to the matching Hopkins sweatshirts (gag #1). But the whole "you hang up....no YOU hang up...Noooo- YOUUU hang up" routine irks the shit outta me. I can honestly say that every relationship in which I have been, I have never been the uber-clingy-needy girlfriend. And when I went grocery shopping with my college boyfriend, Alex, I never stood in line with him, cooing over the potatoes and pasta we were going to make later.

In addition to making me ill, this couple was crowding me. You know the type- swinging and swaying alllllll over the place in line, bumping surrounding people without even noticing. Plus their groceries were overlapping with mine, and I wouldn't be surprised if she memorized my pin number, seeing as how she was hovering over the keypad while I was trying to type my shit in.

I hate going grocery shopping in the first place. Well..that's not entirely true. I hate going grocery shopping at a crowded store. When the store is virtually empty, I'm fine. In and out in 20 minutes. However, that hardly ever happens.

Again- my disgust for lovey-dovey PDA couples doesn't come out of my own jadedness. Yeah..I've been hurt, fucked over, rode hard and put up wet...who hasn't? But I've also had that endless feeling of butterflies in my stomach..and I wish I would end up with a man like that mister on the diamond commercial who screams "I love this woman!!" from the top of his lungs in Italy. But I will never be the annoying lovey-dovey girlfriend in the grocery store. Ew.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Hot Pie

me: i got a TON of apples last week, so i'm apple central
Dan: haha
me: eating several a day
Dan: haha, rich with apples as they say
me: putting them in things
Dan: yes
me: i am! i'm making myself apple pancakes tomorrow morn; i made an apple cake earlier this week
Dan: shit i want some
me: well dan, then you'll have to spend the night
Dan: hmmm
me: i have a rehearsal in the morning..i cant be up all night , dan
Dan: oh, well that's no good
me: also- hot apples with cool whip and cinnamon; yum
Dan: that would hurt. oh you weren't still talking about tonight. oh sorry

Thursday, October 06, 2005

...And another thing

When you see that you have a "missed call" on your phone, why do some people return that missed call and say "hey- did you just call?" OF COURSE they just called. It says "missed call" from THAT PERSON. GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Dammit

IPOD earphones are the WORST. They always get tangled up in anything and everything surrounding them. It's especially irritating for me because I have the Shuffle, and the earphone cord is always getting caught up in the lanyard. Seriously annoying. It even happens when I'm running, and then I look like an idiot, trying to detangle the cords while simultaneously running. GEEZ.

Ungrateful Bastard

Last night, while sitting at a red light with my window rolled down, I was approached by a little boy. "Do you have any spare change?", he asked me, holding a window washer. Now, keep in mind, he didn't offer to wash my windshield- just asked me for money. 10 times out of 10, I don't give change to strangers who approach my car. That's mostly because 9.5 times out of 10, I don't have any spare change. I'm a starving artist dammit. But last night, I checked my cup holder, and spotted a nickel. "Here ya go- a nickel..that's all I got", I said as I handed him the coin. "Oh cmon- you have a buck!", he yelled at me. ?!?!!?!?!?!?!?Buuu WHAAAAAAAAAAAA??!!!!!! "What did you just say to me?", I asked him sternly. "I said...you have a buck!", the little snot responded. "Not for you, I don't, you little jerk." Green light.
I was steaming- not even a "thank you". Just demanding that I give him more money. I can't say it's completely his fault- he probably learned to panhandle from a parent- in fact, he might have been panhandling for one of them! Whatever the case may be, that's the last time I give money to a kid. Unless he's starving in the street- then I'll give him an apple.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Right on

I do claim to be a little bit of a rock snob, but I don't possess nearly the amount of knowledge that some of my ex-boyfriends do. However, I agree with this article.

Soapbox

I'm hardly once to wax policital- I don't claim to be majorly into politics, and I am fairly ignorant to a lot of issues. But, as I get older, I am gaining more of an interest and I'm starting to pay close attention. I don't think I'd take my chances in a huge political debate, but I know bullshit when I hear it. That being said, this week's Political Animal (Citypaper) is right on:

It’s times like these you have to love being a Democrat. Have you ever noticed that if there’s one thing right-wingers love to do, it’s to give liberals “advice”? They’re always saying, “Well, if you knew what’s good for you, you’d do this,” where “this” is something that would, in effect, blow up the party for good.

Granted, for a long time, Democrats have been really good at taking that bad advice. They keep pandering to the cheap sentiments of the fickle Washington press, ignoring the sentiments of the angry (and getting angrier) grass roots, while watching a badly conceived war get worse and a domestic agenda steer dangerously off the tracks. But still, Republicans have the temerity to tell liberals—who have no power and have been wont to do everything to avoid power for four solid years—to follow their advice and make things worse. Who are they kidding?

So right now, let’s start a trend—it’s probably a good time to start giving Republicans advice. When more than now could they use it? The White House is under investigation by a special prosecutor due to its exposure of the identity of an undercover CIA agent. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is under investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission because what he claimed were assets held in a blind trust were sold—apparently under his orders—right before the stocks tanked (et tu, Martha Stewart?). And former House majority leader Tom DeLay was indicted recently on a felony count of conspiracy stemming from his efforts in Texas to illicitly fund campaigns and jury-rig the state’s delegation to the House of Representatives. It doesn’t get any sweeter than this, folks.

So, Republicans, here’s some advice: Keep laying on the tax cuts. They won’t keep anyone from drowning come the next hurricane, they won’t save any of those troops in Iraq from living past the next improvised explosive device lining the roads from Baghdad to the airport, and they sure as hell won’t make the general American public safer in their beds. But the corporate contributors love them, and they keep allowing Republicans to proclaim, despite all other evidence to the contrary, that they help keep the economy going. Foreign debt is at an all-time high, and who knows how long the Chinese will keep paying for our sins by buying dollars, so what better than shoving through yet another set of tax cuts? Besides, one tax cut a year for five years has such a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Speaking of foreign intervention, the whole Iraq thing is getting old by now, don’t you agree? Nothing makes our allies more nervous than the idea that we may just lose all our marbles and attempt yet another march into some foreign country’s sovereign territory. Syria, Iran—hell, maybe Canada. It would be such a kick to see the look on those smarmy Canucks’ faces when what’s left of the 82nd Airborne drops down out of the skies into Quebec, right? Serve them right for not joining in when we told them to jump when we went into Iraq.

Think about the bright side of it—gas prices have more than doubled under this presidency. This administration, under which gas reached the $3/gallon mark for the first time, is run by former oil executives. But nobody really remembers that, so go ahead and keep pushing the sales of those U.S.-made Hummers and Cadillac Escalades.

On another note, health care hasn’t gone anywhere, so don’t do anything to fix it, as it very well could be the next major catastrophe. Five years have gone by and the baby boom has gotten older, and Republicans’ only thought has been to dismantle the one truly working legacy of the New Deal, Social Security, and to drive a stake through the heart of the Great Society by larding up Medicare with a budget-busting plan that you had to lie about to get through Congress.

For the coup de grâce, you’ve finally got a chance to lock in all the gains made over the past five years by filling the Supreme Court with big business-whoring conservatives for whom money equals speech and a woman’s body is nothing more than a baby-making tool of your own priapic desires. I’ll bet it just makes you drool—for something like the next 40 years, given modern life expectancies, a Roberts court can enforce all the ideals of the Bush administration until we have all the modern comforts of life one could expect from an ideal conservative administration—say, Warren G. Harding’s.

Buck up, Republicans! If things keep going as they are, today’s conservatives might want to remember a piece of advice written on the back of a bathroom door in an East Baltimore bar’s men’s room: advice is like semen—easy to dispense, but hard to swallow.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Kept

Man it's good to be a student around here. There are weekly lab lunches, sometimes 2 seminars per week, and monthly departmental meetings. There is always a plethora of food at these meetings. I'm talking fully-catored meals- complete with sodas and dessert. Today's menu is sandwiches, a variety of side salads, and cookies. But that's definately not the best I've seen- I've seen the hallway lined with tables boasting every kind of Chinese food you can imagine, or several different kinds of pasta from Sabatinos, or a taco bar (gross), or salads and wraps; the list goes on. When I was a student, we never had food at meetings. And if we did, it's because we bought it and brought it ourselves. We did get brown bag lunches on University Choir trips- but the sandwiches were usually kind of crappy and the rolls were soggy.


OH- a side note. I HATE HATE HATE it when people refer to themselves in a conversation. And by refer to themselves, I mean they use the phrase "Listen to me". Par example: "I went to the store yesterday and bought 4 packages of oreos...4! LISTEN TO ME. I meant 2. 4! Can you imagine? LISTEN TO ME! FOUR!". I can't say that's an actual quote. I'm lost for an honest to God quote right now because I hate it so much, but you get the point. Listen to me? You need to remind me to listen to you when you are the one doing the talking? ARGHHHHHHHGHGHAHAGHHAAGGHHGHH!! I really hate that. And it's totally different when someone uses the phrase "listen to me" when they are being serious- or if they have something very important to tell you. That's acceptable..we all do that. But the self-righteous "listen to me" is NOT acceptable and frankly, it makes me want to punch the person in the face.

Back to the issue at hand. It is good to be a student around here- not only because you are getting a degree from a major top notch Medical school, but also for the food. Mostly for the food, in my case. Since I'm not becoming a doctor. Although I've thought about it- I might want to be an ENT. I certainly know enough about sinus infections. Probably not, though- I already owe too much money for 2 years of grad school..plus I suck at math.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Afternoon Thoughts

Anytime anyone makes popcorn, I immediately want some. It doesn't matter if I'm hungry- that buttery smell makes me salivate.

I always get sluggish in the afternoons. Sometimes I drink a diet coke or coffee to get me over the hump..but that almost makes me feel worse. I'm not sure why I get so sleepy- I get enough sleep, and I don't eat major calorie-laden lunches.

I missed the deadline for the Merola Opera Program auditions- crap. Oh well..they are doing wierd rep anyway.

I have so much to do tonight, and not enough time in which to do it.

I have acid reflux.

I wish I had some Halloween candy.

This concludes the random thoughts portion of the afternoon. Stay tuned. It gets more exciting.

Fall Fun

Autumn is definately my favorite season. I love the weather, although I could do without the allergies and cold that come along with the change, I love the colors, the crispness in the air, the early evenings, and the pitch black nights. I love pumpkins, squash, apples, and chunky sweaters. I love Halloween and Thanksgiving, and hayrides. I also love college football...mainly WVU football, but I'll watch almost any game. Such was the case this weekend, when my fall fun began with the Penn State/Minnesota game.

I went up to State College with Roger and Wren, 2 friends of mine from high school, and Wren's girlfriend, Erin. Roger is a PSU alumn, so his parents have season tickets. We went up Sat morning, arrived a little after noon, and tailgated for several hours before the game. It was great- beer, BBQ, and perfect weather. The game itself was a lot of fun too- PSU kicked Minnesota's ass- I think PSU will now be ranked- and the 106,000 fans were pretty jazzed. I can only imagine what the town was like later that night. Probably similar to Morgantown, where many-a-couch was burning. But we won't talk about the WV/VATech game. *Tear*

Fall fun continued on Sunday, with Robert, Ashely, my mom, and myself heading to the Apple Harvest Festival in PA. It was beautiful outside, but let's be honest- the real reason we went was for the food. Pit beef, funnel cakes, and apple crisp- does it get any better? Only if there were kegs.

A great way to kick off October. Next up: pumpkin picking and a haunted house.