Ich verstehe, Art von

Working at Columbia University certainly has its perks, one of which is free tuition. If I wanted to, I could obtain a second master's degree for free. Well, almost free- there is the application fee and cost of books. But, when you factor out that $33,000/year in tuition, it's free.
At this time, I don't think I have the interest or time to go for another degree, but I am very interested in taking a German class. I mean, it would only cost me about $120 total- that includes the app fee, the class fee, and the books. Not bad for a semester's worth of classes, right? The only problem is, I have no idea what my level is. I haven't had a German class since my sophomore year in college; I hardly remember grammar and the stupid articles get me every time. It would make sense for me to start over. However, the only beginning German class offered is at night- 3 nights a week. That might not sound like a problem, and it isn't a problem, but I'm not sure if I want to give up 3 nights a week. It would mean not getting home until 8:30 or so. It would mean planning my workouts for 6:30 in the morning, which I really hate doing, and it would mean packing a lunch AND dinner 3 nights a week.
If, perchance, I would test into the elementary level II class, life would be perfect. The class meets everyday, during the lunch hour. I wouldn't have to stay late, and I could just eat lunch after class, at my desk, like I do everyday anyway.

So, do I apply for the class- I have to take a placement exam- and just take what I can get? Or do I keep putting it off? OK. I think I just answered my own question. I'll start studying this weekend.

Imnotjewish

I may or may not have joined Jdate. And, for arugement's sake, let's say I did join a jewish dating service- what would be the advantage? I'm an Anglican. I mean, so what if I know a lot of smart, cute, funny, successful, single Jewish guys? Does that mean there could be more of them?

You bet.

Honestly, I joined JDate as sort of a joke. But, after one day of being on the website, I had 14 emails- granted, most of them were from 40 year olds, but the point IS: I'm a shiksa goddess. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

As soon as I told my friend Fred (I don't have a friend named Fred, but I'm protecting his identity just in case his girlfriend ever finds this page) about JDate, he had to join. He created a fake profile, complete with his password: Imnotjewihs. Yes, jewihs. He MISSPELLED jewish, and not on purpose. Unfortunately, he won't be able to view any of his messages because you have to be a paying member in order to do that. I'll let the joke slide.
Fred likes to bust my balls about JDate- and rightfully so; it's ridiculous:

me: god. this one non-hot jew keeps trying to IM and i dont want to be rude, but i have no interest
Fred: hmmm. tell him to piss off
me: haha
Fred: tell him you are only into hot bods, big cocks, and fat wallets
me: HAHAHAHAHAH
Fred: you stopped talking which either means you are watchin it (The Chronicles of Riddick), or some big dicked jew is talking to you
me: i was actually doing things in my apartment
Fred: hanging your star of david?

And it goes on from there. Oy vey.

Ho Ho Ho

Unless you're dead, you know it's Christmastime. Every other commercial is about sales, toys, his and her gifts, and holiday cooking. Seriously- is the commercialism starting earlier every year?

I ain't gonna front- I freakin' love Christmas. I am excited to be in New York for the season and witness all of the crazies, I mean tourists, buying a bunch of useless crap just because it's being sold at Columbus Circle. And even though I won't be able to see 34th St. this year, I'm heading to Dyker Heights where the electric bills will be sky-high and so will the holiday cheer.

Kinky Columbia

Apparently, Ivy League students like to get DOWN.

What I'm sayin' is, how can an employee score an invite?

Refresher

4.5 days break from New York City? Yes please. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving; I hope all 6 of you did too. I stuffed my face, slept, watched pointless television, shopped, laughed, relaxed, and slowed down. What a nice breath of fresh air- literally. I feel refreshed and ready to get back to the grind.

PS- If you haven't seen Casino Royale yet, go. It really is good and he's pretty much the hottest thing ever.

Left hangin'

I know you're all on pins and needles- Boccismo! reigns victorious. We won our game last night, bringing us to a 4-4 record. We cannot be stopped. It is on. We are winners.

Turkey Countdown, Day 10

Well people, the time has come to end the countdown to our day of giving thanks. Since I'll be at home tomorrow (praise Jesus), cooking and sitting around, and not blogging.
So, enjoy these pictures and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

50% off or death

"Seriously, on my way to the first rack of girls’ clothes, I was deliberately kicked in the shin by a toddler so fat its eyes were invisible. Then, as I was politely easing my way closer to the rack, some bulimic bee-atch in fuck-me boots literally clawed my arm to get ahead. And at the rack, some wannabe metrosexual smacked me in the head with his shopping basket. Jesus Fucking—"

A hilarious look at the hell that is black Friday. I love it.

Turkey Countdown, Day 9

Folks!

We are nearing the day of gluttony...y'ready?!?!?

Today's featured dish is.....



Corn Pudding! It's VERY fatty...but very good. I wasn't always a huge fan, and it's not something my mother typically makes each year, but I do enjoy a bit of the CP on my plate.

4 tablespoons sweet butter
4 cups freshly shucked corn kernels
6 eggs
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons freshly chopped thyme

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Use 2 tablespoons of the butter to grease a 2 1/2-inch deep 10-inch baking dish and set aside.

Place 2 cups of corn kernels in the bowl of a food processor along with the eggs, cream, milk, flour, salt, pepper, and sugar and process for 10 seconds. Transfer the puree to a bowl; fold in the remaining corn kernels and thyme and pour the pudding into the buttered baking dish.

Place the baking dish in a roasting pan and add very hot water to reach halfway up the sides of the dish. Dot the top of the pudding with the remaining butter, place in the oven and bake for 1 hour, or until the pudding is firm but still quivering.

Men are from Mars

Just when I start to wonder why I can't seem to find a decent man, I hear about one of my friends getting screwed over, hurt, dragged through the mud, or completely taken advantage of- and I suddenly become A O.K. with being single.
I was telling a male friend of mine about a girlfriend who was recently hurt by her ex-boyfriend. He aksed me if the ex had been cheating, and said I didn't think so, but his behavior was really shitty and hurtful- and that sucks. He said, unforunately, it's not a crime: men use love to get sex, and women use sex to get love.

Fuck. That.

I am TIRED of hearing about dishonest, hormone-driven episodes where hurt is "unintentional" but is always the case. I have never been the victim of cheating, but I've had some shitty things happen to me. And the more I hear about the aforementioned B.S., the more I realize that I trust no one. Well, almost no one. What is to say that the next guy I actually decide is worth my time won't do something completely shitty and untrustworthy to me? Absolutely nothing. Part of me in completely jealous when I hear about yet another person with whom I grew up getting married, but then I catch wind of dishonesty and shittyness, and I'm once again glad to be where I am.

So...this ends my "men suck" rant- I know there are plenty of good ones out there. I'm just sayin...

Shaken, not stirred

Uh, yeah. He's a Bond I could get used to too.

Turkey Countdown, Day 8

I know I'm gonna get a stern talkin-to about this as well, but I'm not a huge fan of pumpkin pie. I know, I know...how can this be? I have a gigantic sweet tooth and pretty much love all things pie and cake, but honestly- pumpkin pie was never an essential part of the Ryon Thanksgiving. I don't think my mother has ever made a pumpkin pie. Pumpkin ROLL, yes...and I do like that. Pumpkin bread and pumpkin muffins...check and check. But we always had apple pie and some sort of cake- never the P.P.

However, I realize that almost every other red-blooded American NEEDS pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, and truth be told, I'm in charge of the PP this year. My mother is making some sort of fabulous chocolate cake, but my sister-in-law requested the pumpkin pie. So it's show time.

Here is the recipe I'm making:

2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 (3 3/4-ounce) package cook-and-serve vanilla pudding
1 1/2 cups half-and-half
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 cup coarsely crushed gingersnaps
3/4 cup chopped pecans
Graham cracker pie crust, recipe follows
Gingersnap crumbs, for garnish
Whipped cream, for garnish

In a medium saucepan, combine spice and pudding mix and cook as directed, substituting half-and-half for liquid. Remove mixture from heat and stir in pumpkin. Cover surface with plastic wrap and let stand for about 1 1/2 hours, until nearly room temperature.

Stir gently when cool. Whip cream. Fold gingersnaps and whipped cream into pudding mixture. Spread half of pecans in bottom of crust. Pour pudding mixture over nuts and chill pie for 4 hours. Sprinkle with remaining pecans and garnish with gingersnap crumbs and whipped cream.

Graham Cracker Pie Crust:
1 1/2 cups (5 ounces) finely ground graham crackers
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/3 cup sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt

Stir together crust ingredients and press onto bottom and 1-inch up side of a 8-inch springform pan. Fill right away or chill up to 2 hours.

Times, they are a-changin'

Now, I know that things are different in high schools today than they were 10,11,12 years ago when I was in high school. DAMMIT that was a long time ago. At any rate, I know things are different, times are changing, blah blah blah. I don't have any children of my own, so I might be a touch out of my element here, but who the hell do these kids think they are? Honestly, are you THAT important that you need a cell phone while you are in school? Learning? Making the most of your eduacation?
Chuckle all you want, but I think it's ridiculous. I hate cell phones. I always have, yet where would I be without mine? In this day and age, left behind. I resisted the trend througout college. I thought, if someone needs to get in touch with me, they can call my house and leave a message. If it's that important, they will either call back or track me down. But today; shit. I use my phone to call my sister and tell her stupid/funny things. I use it to call my mom more than once a day to remind her my travel plans and to tell her how my latest audition went. I use it to make plans, appointments, take pictures, send messages, send pictures, get directions, alert the press, and to ward off undesireable street people. I don't like it.
If I decide to become a mom someday, I think I may move to a small town in Minnesota like Lake Wobegon, where "the women are strong, the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." At least in Lake Wobegon, I can pretend.

Read the fine print

I managed to land an audition for Juilliard Opera Center. Great news, considering how much time and preparation and money I put into the application. And the best part is, the audition itself only requires one aria, one other piece of my choice, and a monologue.

Or so I thought.

Apparently, I'm an idiot. Either that, or I get ahead of myself and don't read the fine print. For the pre-screening, I had to submit- among other things- a recording with 4 arias. I had to record 2 of these arias several weeks ago when I was sick, but what are you gonna do? The show must go on. According to the audition rep. information, it clearly states "in addition to the pre-screening materials, be prepared to present a 21st century aria and a piece of your choice that is not an aria." So that means that I must have all of the arias from my recording ready to go. For Juilliard. For the administration, voice faculty, and opera faculty. Gulp.
You see, I included the Fairy Godmother's (Cendrillon) 2 big scenes on my recording- one of which really isn't an aria of any kind. I had these pieces on a CD from the show I did with Summer Opera last summer. Ain't no way that I can have that particular part of the opera worked up in 3 weeks for my audition. Ain't no way.
So, do I call and ask about doing some rep switching? Do I just DO the rep switching and hope they won't notice? I'm crapping my pants enough about getting the audition. But now, because of my inability to comprehend simple instructions, I'm f*&%ed.
What to do?

Turkey Countdown, Day 7

Unlike most people, I'm not a huge fan of stuffing. I think it's more of a consistency issue than anything else: I can't get into the soggy meat-soaked bread. Odd, because I love Sloppy Joes with that soppy bun. At any rate, stuffing is a key Thanksgiving feast dish, so here are some recipes that seem incredible, if you are a stuffing lover.



Oyster Stuffing (I actually do like this):

Cornbread:
1 cup self rising cornmeal
1/2 cup self-rising flour
3/4 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

Dressing:
7 slices white bread, dried in warm oven
Cornbread
1 sleeve saltine crackers
2 cups chopped celery
1 large onion, chopped
8 tablespoons butter
7 cups chicken stock
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon dried sage
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
5 eggs, beaten
2 pints or 1 quart oysters, drained

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

To make the cornbread, combine all ingredients and pour into a greased shallow baking dish. Bake for approximately 20 to 25 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool.

To make the dressing, crumble dried white bread slices, cornbread and crackers. Mix together and set aside. Saute chopped celery and onion in butter until transparent, approximately 5 to 10 minutes. Pour over corn bread mixture. Add stock, mix well and add salt, pepper, sage, and poultry seasoning. Add beaten eggs and mix well. Add oysters and mix. Pour into a greased pan. Bake for about 45 minutes.

Sage, sausage, and apple stuffing:
16-ounce bag stuffing cubes
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus more for greasing the pan and topping
1 pound fresh sage sausage, casing removed
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cooking apples, such as Gravenstein, Rome, or Golden Delicious, peeled, cored, and chopped
1 to 2 ribs celery with leaves, chopped
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
3 cups chicken broth, homemade or low-sodium canned
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
1/2 cup walnut pieces, toasted (See Note)
2 eggs, beaten

Caramelized onion and cornbread stuffing (from my man Tyler):
2 tablespoons butter
2 onions, chopped
6 large cornmeal muffins, cubed
A handful fresh sage leaves, chopped
1 egg
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup chicken stock
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Melt the butter in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring, for about 10 minutes, or until soft and caramelized. Scrape into a large mixing bowl, add the cornbread pieces and the sage, season well with salt and pepper, and give it a good toss until it's well combined. In a separate bowl, whisk together the egg, cream, and stock, and pour that over the cornbread. Stir the stuffing together, spoon it into a buttered baking dish and put it in the oven along with the turkey. Bake until hot and crusty on top, about 30 minutes.

Sweet potato reprise

OK, I know I already included sweet potatoes on the Turkey Countdown, but I was doing some browsing and came across this recipe. It is from the kitchen of my future boyfriend (even though he's gained a little weight), Tyler Florence. (I still love you, baby!) I typically prefer a less desserty sweet potato dish, but seriously...this looks incredible.

2 large sweet potatoes
3/4 cup (11/2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup light brown sugar
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup toasted pecan pieces
1 cup miniature marshmallows

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Wash the sweet potatoes, scrubbing them well to remove any dirt. With a fork, prick the sweet potatoes in a couple of spots and place them on a sheet pan. Bake for about 45 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center goes in easily.

In a large bowl, mix the butter, brown sugar, and flour together until it's crumbly-looking. Add the cinnamon, salt, pecans, and marshmallows; fold the streusel topping together to combine.

Slice the sweet potatoes lengthwise down the center and push the ends towards the middle so it opens up. Stuff the sweet potatoes generously with the streusel topping and return to the oven. Bake for another 20 minutes, or until the topping is bubbly and brown.

Turkey Countdown, Day 6

As I mentioned in the first installment of the Turkey Countdown diaries, Thanksgiving has been hosted by my brother and his wife for the last two years. Being that my sister-in-law is preggars, my brother wanted my Mom to host this year. Fine. Dandy. However, in typical-my-bro-fashion, he neglected to communicate this to my mother, who assumed that turkey day would, again, be hosted by he and his wife. Apparently, there are plans for my parents' kitchen to be torn up next week, so we either have it at Steve's or go to a restaurant. And I aint' comin home to go to a restaurant. Fine. Dandy. My mother and I will go over to his house the day before TG and start cooking.

THEN my brother says "Oh, and since there will only be 5 of us this year, we're just going to get a turkey breast."
Pause.
A TURKEY BREAST?!?!?!?!?! No, Steve: no. I said, "OK, Rachel Ray. This isn't 30 minute meals- it's Thanksgiving. I want a whole turkey. It can weigh 2 lbs for all I care (are there 2 lb turkeys? Probably not), but it BETTER be a whole turkey and not just the breast."
"Whole turkeys are a lot of work! Especially for only 5 people", he says.
"Fine, I will come over to your house that morning at 7 AM and start preparing the bird. Seriously. I'll do it. I've been looking forward to this meal/vacation/family time for MONTHS. We're not half-assing it."
Pause.
"I'll consider it."

I'm calling my mother tonight to make sure she purchases the bird.

And since the topic of last night's convo was turkey, let's get to it. The main event. The reason for the season. The fowl of the festivites. Tom himself:



There are hundreds of ways to prepare the turkey. Roasting, deep frying (Robert can't WAIT to do this), brined and roasted, marinated and grilled...
Here is a more classic recipe:

1 (14 to 16 pound) frozen young turkey
For the brine:
1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
1 gallon iced water
For the aromatics:
1 red apple, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup water
4 sprigs rosemary
6 leaves sage
Canola oil

Combine all brine ingredients, except ice water, in a stockpot, and bring to a boil. Stir to dissolve solids, then remove from heat, cool to room temperature, and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled.

Early on the day of cooking, (or late the night before) combine the brine and ice water in a clean 5-gallon bucket. Place thawed turkey breast side down in brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in cool area (like a basement) for 6 hours. Turn turkey over once, half way through brining.

A few minutes before roasting, heat oven to 500 degrees. Combine the apple, onion, cinnamon stick, and cup of water in a microwave safe dish and microwave on high for 5 minutes.

Remove bird from brine and rinse inside and out with cold water. Discard brine.

Place bird on roasting rack inside wide, low pan and pat dry with paper towels. Add steeped aromatics to cavity along with rosemary and sage. Tuck back wings and coat whole bird liberally with canola (or other neutral) oil.

Roast on lowest level of the oven at 500 degrees F. for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cover breast with double layer of aluminum foil, insert probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and return to oven, reducing temperature to 350 degrees F. Set thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees. A 14 to 16 pound bird should require a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours of roasting. Let turkey rest, loosely covered for 15 minutes before carving.


Here are a few more ideas that are making me drool:

Maple-roasted turkey with sage, smoked bacon, and cornbread stuffing
Cranberry glazed breast of turkey (THIS is what my brother wants to make)
Turkey with Herbes de Provence and citrus
Roasted Turkey with Pomegranate Sauce and Wild Rice and Goat Cheese Stuffing



Man, how do vegetarians do it?

Turkey Countdown, Day 5

When it comes to cranberry sauce, I like it straight outta the can.

Booya.




Ain't nothin homemade or fancy about it, and you know what? That's just fine by me. For the past few years, my mom has been making some sort of cranberry-orange relish to top the meat. Don't get me wrong- that is delicious too, but nothing quite beats the canned taste of Ocean Spray processed cranberry "sauce". However, if you want to get a bit more formal and make something pretty like this,



try this recipe:

3 cups Apple cider
3/4 cup Sugar
4 Cinnamon sticks
1 tablespoon Orange zest
12 cloves
2 1/2 cups Fresh cranberries

In a pan, bring apple cider, orange zest, sugar, cloves and cinnamon sticks to a boil. Stir and simmer for 15 minutes until sugar dissolves.

Add cranberries. Increase the heat and bring to a boil. Cook on high heat, stirring until cranberries begin to pop, about five to ten minutes. Reduce heat, cook on low until relish begins to thicken, stirring occasionally. Remove from stove and discard cinnamon sticks. Pour into a bowl to cool.

Strategery

I am happy to report that Boccismo! won our third game in a row last night. We defeated, argueably, the best team in the league. It was a very close, intense game- we won the first round, they won the second round, and then we clenched it by 2 points in the end. I was a bit disappointed in myself- I did NOT play my best game. Luckily, my teammates are machines and bowled some amazing balls.

We have three games remaining until the semi-finals. I think we have a pretty good shot (pun intended) of making it all the way.

Viva Boccismo!

The Unethicist strikes again

Seriously- besides the Stalker map, this is my favorite thing from Gawker.


A dear friend died recently and unexpectedly. I asked his widow if he had been ill and received an evasive answer and a sense that she was hiding something. It is unsettling not to know how my old friend died. Would it be wrong to check his death certificate -- it is a public record -- or would that be an invasion of privacy? name withheld, Los Angeles

Since everything is obviously your business, I'm sure you already know that I had a minor case of eczema in high school. I have three fake teeth, two of which were broken out in an ice skating accident, one in a car accident. You know, of course, that I have had a root canal, and two wisdom teeth removed. I've got a couple of scars on my left elbow from falling off my bike in college, a scar on my face from getting kicked in the eye by a 6'4" third-degree black belt, and recently suffered from a disgusting case of epiglottitis, which a series of antibiotics was able to clear up. I've been to the emergency room twice in the past six months alone, which I'm sure the private detective you hired to secure my medical records has already told you.

You should definitely find out how your friend died by checking his death certificate. That will bring you not only peace of mind, but an amazing opportunity to torture his bitch of a widow who is too much of a selfish asshole to recognize the dire importance of your nosey questions. Sure, you clearly haven't been in touch with this "friend" for so long that you don't know WHETHER OR NOT HE DIED FROM A PROLONGED ILLNESS, but that doesn't mean that you guys cutting class to smoke clove cigarettes behind a dumpster in high school doesn't entitle you to know every little fucking thing. So, time to get even. Here are a few scenarios I've worked out for you, depending on what you find out.

CANCER: if your friend died of cancer, shave your head and go on a liquid diet so you lose a ton of weight, and wear some of your dead friend's old clothing. Go to the widow's house on their anniversary. When she sees you and is reminded of her dead husband and begins to cry, put a frail hand on her shoulder and softly whisper, "Your evasiveness is what killed me."

PARKINSON'S DISEASE: if your friend died of Parkinson's Disease, pester his widow to send letters to her congressional representatives to defeat stem cell research. When she gently suggests that stem cell research might be the key to finding a cure for diseases that wreak horrible havoc on the families and loved ones of those who suffer from them, tell her that Jesus hates her. When she tries to hang up the phone, tell her that people don't die from Parkinson's Disease, they die from being trapped in horrible marriages.

AIDS: Okay, seriously, can you define "dear friend" that you don't hear about this shit?

Turkey Countdown, Day 4

My favorite Thanksgiving side is without a doubt sweet potatoes. Casseroles, pies, muffins- you name it, I love it. Although not a Thanksgiving side dish, sweet potato fries are also amazingly good- especially with a little cinnamon and sugar on top. MMMMMMM.

My mother makes a sweet potato casserole recipe from the King's Arms Tavern- a restaurant in Williamsburg, VA- and I was fortunate enough to find the recipe online. It's pretty standard, and pretty effin' good:

3 pounds sweet potatoes
3/4 cup light brown supar, packed, divided
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease 1 1/2- quart casserole. Cook sweet potatoes in boiling, salted water until done. Drain, peel, and mash. Stir in all remaining ingredients except 2 tablespoons of sugar. Turn mixture into prepared casserole and sprinkle with remaining sugar. Bake at 400 for 30 minutes.




Heaven.

It helps with breathing, OK?

I have my Wolf Trap audition today, and considering how awful I sang several years ago for them, I'm confident that I'll sound better this time around. I'm almost totally over this cold that has lasted three weeks, and I'm ready to show 'em what I got. Let's just hope it's not coated in peanut butter, since I just ate it by the spoonful. TMI? Sorry.

At any rate, I've had a few lessons with a new teacher- which is always a bit nervewracking- and we made some breakthrough changes last night. I know that none of you actually care about my vocal issues, so I won't bore you with the details, but I will say that I feel as though an issue with which I have been dealing since I first started singing might ACTUALLY be working itself out. I've still got a lot of work to do, but with a few minor adjustments and a few major breathing exercises (including an incentive spirometer), I just may have the tools to lick this.

Although the breathing for brass players and singers is a bit different, there are many similarties as well. I found this little gem of wisdom on tubanews.com (what?):

As I mentioned before, it seems ironic that we have to learn, or even re-learn anything about respiration, but part of that might be due to the fact that we are performers. With most performance-oriented activities comes a degree of anxiety. It is hard to fight the primal instinct to fight or flight when confronted with stress. This is a primitive yet powerful instinct that causes us to tense up, which is counterintuitive to most performing. No matter how many times you tell yourself to relax, tension still creeps in and paralysis takes hold. This might explain why we overlook the simplicity of breathing when we are learning to master the tuba, even though we know that good breathing is essential to good playing. Sometimes we learn surprisingly slow, and it often takes multiple repetitions for anything to become a habit. Don’t be discouraged, learn to stick with it and don’t forget the basics. When in doubt, don’t think too much - and don’t forget to breathe!

Turkey Countdown, Day 3

The Ryon green bean casserole is a tad different from what one finds at most Thanksgiving tables- green beans with those cruchy onions on top. We don't do the onions- we do almonds. It looks a little something like this:



This side dish is Ashley's favorite. Last year, she and I were invited to a pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house. There was, of course, the traditional green bean casserole with the french fried onions: and then there was the Ryon dish. Veeeeeeeeeeeery interesting that OUR casserole was the first to go. (It's way better.)

This isn't the exact recipe, but it goes a lil somethin' like this:

INGREDIENTS:

* 2 pkgs fresh or frozen green beans, thawed, (10 ounce each)
* 3/4 cup milk
* 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
* 1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup, or cream of celery
* salt and pepper, to taste
* 3/4 cup slivered almonds

PREPARATION:
In a greased 1 1/2-quart casserole, combine all ingredients. Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes.

Turkey Countdown, Day 2

Pumpkin soup. It's very easy to make, and has something like 70 calories. At the Ryon household, pumpkin soup was not always a Thanksgiving staple. I know as a kid I wouldn't have given this a second look, but now- I love it. I make it often in the fall and winter, and I look forward to it as the first course of our Thanksgiving dinner. Last year, I pumpkin apple soup. The year before that, my brother made curried pumpkin soup. I think this year, I'll try "spiked" pumpkin soup, with a hint of bourbon. Mmmmmm. Fall-y.



1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin (not pie filling)
1 1/2 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
1 cup lowfat milk
1 teaspoon ground cumin
2 bay leaves
Salt and ground black pepper
Fresh sage leaves

For Robert

As per Robert's "request", here is the recipe for cranberry bread.

Ingredients:
2 cups unbleached flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup fresh orange juice
2 eggs beaten
3 tablespoons sweet butter (melted)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1 1/2 cup cranberries
2 teaspoons grated orange rind

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bread pan.

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in bowl. Make well in middle of mixture, pour in orange juice, eggs, and melted butter. Mix well but don't over mix. Fold in walnuts, cranberries and orange rind.

Pour batter into greased bread pan. Set on middle rack of oven. Bake 45 to 50 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean when inserted in middle. Remove bread from oven and let cool in pan 10 minutes. Remove and let cool on rack.

Don't forget to trash the seeds

My dear friend Lauren lives in England, where American Thanksgiving is apparently something of a...mystery.


Lauren: one of the patients brought us a pumpkin from our allotment. Somebody carved it, and it was sitting on the counter. I opened the fridge and asked after a while- what is that stuff in the tupperware? (so I had to explain what tupperware meant, of course that didn't go well) then they were all like, oh, i'ts pumpkin insides.
I was like, "neat".
So, they hinted around for a few minutes about american thanksgiving and turkey and pumpking pie.
and then they asked if they gave me the insides, would I make a pie?
I, of course, started laughing.
And we went over the pie in the tin thing.
me: hahhahaahahah


Oh you Brits.

Turkey Countdown

Thanksgiving is in 2 weeks and I can't freakin' wait. I haven't been out of New York since August (that's 3 months, if you forgot how to count), and that's quite something. Someone once said to me, "the key to surviving New York is to get out at least once a month." I couldn't agree more. But, when church obligations kick in, money talks. Needless to say, I'm in dire need of a vacay and some peace and quiet, so I'm counting the days. For the past two years, my brother and his wife have hosted Thanksgiving, but this year, the power goes back to my mother. I know she couldn't be happier. What Ryon woman likes to relinquish power? Not a one.

If you know me, you know how much I love food. Shopping for it, cooking it, looking at it, reading about it, eating it- you name it, I love it. Unfortunately, my genes don't let me love food as much as I'd like to without gaining 65 lbs. So, moderation is key.

In honor of the year's best day for food, I've decided to post a daily dish that one might find at the Ryon Thanksgiving table. (As I typed that last sentence, I thought- do we have 14 different dishes? Yes. Well, maybe. No? I don't know.) At any rate, let's get this thing started.

Today's Ryon Recipe is:



Cranberry Bread! My mother usually makes both pumpkin and cranberry breads, and freezes the extra loaves for Christmas. I'm not big on traditional dinner rolls with Thanksgiving dinner, but I do absolutely LOVE cranberry bread.

For all that is cute

Pretty freakin' adorable, right? Anything little that fits on babies and/or small animals is amazingly cute. And since there are three babies coming into my life (what is in the water, seriously), I have lapsed into cuteness overload. Last weekend, I picked up a Puma tracksuit for my cousin's upcoming daughter, and a little Christmas jumper for my best friend's upcoming son. (I know the kid is gonna be 9 months old by the time he gets to wear the thing, but seriously- if you saw the degree of red-and-white striped Christmas footies, you would have bought it too.)As soon as I figure out if I will have a niece or a nephew, it's REALLY on. Now, I've decided I'm going to learn how to knit (thanks to Nikki), and my first project is baby booties.

I have absolutely no idea about knitting, but Nikki assures me that learning to do the booties is not difficult. Also, it's a bit more cost effective than making a blanket. But have no fear- after the booties will come stuffed animals, sweaters, hats, and blankets. I'm going to be the aunt who sends hand-made gifts every Christmas that are kindly tossed aside for the latest video games. Damn kids.

Thanks but no thanks

Rejection letters are always great, aren't they? It's interesting to see the different templates used by companies. Some come to your inbox, some to your mail box, and some not at all.
I must say, in all my years of being rejected, I received what I thought was one of the nicest letters from Santa Fe. Of course, I didn't have any expectations of getting in to this program- it's highly, highly competitive. Not to mention the fact that I was sick for my audition. Anyway, this is what they sent me:


Thank you for auditioning for The Santa Fe Opera Apprentice Singer Program.

At this time we are unable to offer you an engagement for the 2007 Season, but we would be pleased to hear you again next year.

If you wish to audition for the 2008 Season, please visit our website at www.santafeopera.org starting next August. Applications will be due at the end of September 2007 for the 2008 Program.


Sweet! As Ryan pointed out, I think Santa Fe has 2 different rejection letters- the one I got a few years ago basically saying "Thanks. Bub-Bye." and this one, saying "please audition again". I take this as a step in the right direction. Maybe the next time around, I'll make the call back list!

Colbert Report Report

Be sure to check out Rolling Stone for what is an awesome cover story on the two best journalists around.

I went to a taping of the Colbert Report last night, and it was pretty awesome. I had never been to a TV show taping before last night, so I really didn't know what to expect. It was all run so smoothly, and was exactly a half hour from start to finish. Stephen was hilarious, witty, dry, and intelligent; proving why more young Americans trust him and Jon Stewart more than any other news source. Except for maybe Anderson Cooper, and that's just because he's hot.

When we got home, we were just about climb the stairs to our apartment when I saw what I thought was a black plastic bag on the bottom stair. (For those who don't know, the staircase leading up to our apartment is indoors; we are on the third floor.) Upon closer inspection, we discovered that it was not a black bag, but a pigeon. A LIVE BIRD. INSIDE. Oh, and btw- I hate birds. Well, the bird didn't flinch when we walked past it, so it was obviously hurt or sick. I didn't want to deal with a dead animal in the morning, let alone the disease it could be carrying, so Amanda and I had to take matters into our own hands. We put on rubber gloves, and I picked up the bird while Amanda held open a paper bag. We took it outside and attempted to dump it out of the bag, but it wouldn't move. As much as I really dislike the species, I felt bad for it. It was clearly dying.

Only in New York.

Finally

Finding a good pair of pants is difficult for me, as I believe I have mentioned in previous posts. I seem to be too tall for most petite pants, and of course too short for regular pants. So, I have to have most things altered. I hate that.

However, I am pleased to report that I have finally found a pair of jeans that I love- from J. Crew. Now, I've had jeans from J. Crew before and I wasn't really impressed. But these are different- they are soft, yet firm, they actually stay up so therefore do not require a belt, and the "short" is actually long enough for me and can be worth with a boot or a sneaker. Score!