50% off or death

"Seriously, on my way to the first rack of girls’ clothes, I was deliberately kicked in the shin by a toddler so fat its eyes were invisible. Then, as I was politely easing my way closer to the rack, some bulimic bee-atch in fuck-me boots literally clawed my arm to get ahead. And at the rack, some wannabe metrosexual smacked me in the head with his shopping basket. Jesus Fucking—"

A hilarious look at the hell that is black Friday. I love it.