It is now "Nothing to Lose" time

Well, folks, I said that 2006 is my "nothing to lose" year, and it has officially begun. I mean it. I'm going to be an audition horse (that is, if I'm granted the auditions), search and find the best apartment I can in New York City, apply for any and all jobs, and rediscover my confidence when it comes to boys. I seem to have lost that somewhere along the way...most likely between failed relationships. It's just easier to accept rejection without even trying than it is to put oneself out there and risk getting shit on...again. While stumbling to Nakia's car last night, I don't remember 100 exactly what I said to Jennifer, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with feeling lonely and unsuccessful when it comes to the mens, therefore making me a pitiful wreck. At a time in my life when I'm getting ready to take a HUGE step (moving, in case you're an idiot), I've become really reflective and contemplative as of late. Is this the right thing to do? Will I be happy? (Check and check). Am I going to have success in my career? Am I going to meet someone? (A hopeful 2 checks.) Tonight, while sitting around my apt. tired and reflective, Dan called me. After a few weeks of feeling generally shitty about myself, I can honestly say that phone call was the best thing to happen to me so far this year. To Dan, it's probably nothing at all- he was just being a friend, calling to see how I am, and to tell me about the new sunglasses he bought. But to me, it was a reminder that I've got a lot going for me. This is my year.