Where mama lawyer?

Last night, while picking my sister up from work, I was approached by a security guard. Ashley had not yet come out of the building, so I was parked, car still running, along the drive circle, waiting on her. The guard came up to my window (I've had run-ins with this particular guard before), and and said to me "I COULD vandalize your car right now." ??? "Uh...I'm waiting on my sister; she'll be out any minute. Do I really have to move my car?" [I should point at at this time that he asks me to move my car often, even though Ashley is literally on her way out of the building when I pull up.] "I could vandalize your car, OR I could break your knees."??????? BREAK my knees??????? That is what he said. I looked at him, dumbfounded, and said "Ummm...uhh...what?? Why would you do either of those things?" He said, "because you are parked on the curb. Both of your wheels are on the curb, and you need to move your car right now." Wow. I was speechless. So I moved my car, rolled my eyes several hundred times, and managed to call him a "fat fuck" while he was walking away. It took a few minutes for it to sink in that I had just been threatened. As soon as Ashley got in the car, I went OFF. I told her the whole story and made my already sore throat even worse. I couldn't believe that some sub-human fake cop was threatening me for PARKING. Getting fired for emails, getting threatened for parking, what's next? Is someone going to put a hit on me for wearing the wrong shade of lipstick?
I emailed my complaint to the head of security this morning, but I haven't heard anything back yet. I'll follow up with a call tomorrow, and mention that my cousin is a lawyer here in Baltimore city. Maybe that'll light a fire under that fat fuck's ass.