Elevator Etiquette

Morning is off to a bad start when it comes to elevator bullshit. People are stupid, yet amaze me. I seriously think that some of these idiots believe there is a tiny man operating the elevators, taking requests in the form of obsessively-pushed buttons. I encounter these geniuses on a daily basis, and I've had enough. I'm thinking about typing up a list of rules and posting it on elevator-side bulletin boards around the building. Hell, these brainiacs have to read SOMEthing when they're pushing the "up" arrow for the 15th time in a row. My list would go a little something like this:

1. Only push the "up" or "down" arrow once. And be patient, for God's sake. We all have somewhere to be.
2. Don't push me out of the way to get on the elevator first. I've been standing here either just as long or longer than you, so get over it.
3. Please don't stand so close to me (don't stand so...don't stand so....don't stand so close to me!).
4. You only need to hit your floor button once. It won't forget after the doors have closed.
5. Stop obsessively hitting the "door close" button. Besides being COMPLETELY ANNOYING, the elevator doors WILL close without you coaxing them. This does nothing except piss me off.
6. Don't stare at me. Seriously, it's creepy.
7. I can't believe you took the elevator up one floor you lazy shit.


Whaddya think? Good idea?