Robert Loves Donuts

I love "Mr. Wrong" from the City Paper. Definately my favorite columnist. Too bad he only appears every other week. Anyway- here's a funny blurb from 2 weeks ago:


I went to a Krispy Kreme that was having a “Grand Opening,” and they do this thing where they light a little red light outside the store to let all the fat-asses know there’s freshly minted doughnuts to be had, ohhh. All these little shiny newborn doughnuts bobbling around in a river of hotter-than-hell oil, all floating downstream into the gaping maw of America. Shit-goddamn, that’s some good doughnut they make there at the Double-K, but on the contrary and however in my own opinion, I respectfully maintain the coffee sucks it there at the K-to-the-K. Seriously, I dunno what they do to it, but it’s like nuclear-surface-of-the-sun scalding hot, and just tastes like some, I dunno, some burnt bad-juice, and while I prostrate myself before their O.G. doughnut, I ain’t there for the coffee.

And I ain’t too proud to go get my glazey-glazed doughnut from the 2K and then walk into the Dunkin’ Donuts for some of their nice mellow coffee, and yeah, what the hey, gimme a couple of those Boston Kreme deals and one of those gigantical Apple Fritters while you’re at it, urp! Even though it is not a Donut per se, I Obey the Apple Fritter.

So anyway, yeah, donuts, they are Good, and We, the Human Race, have almost perfected them. Sure, everybody’s got their fave-rave thing with a hole in it, but we all agree on the mighty Donut as a Concept of what is Good. And yeah, it’s not Good for You, but it’s Good, and Life is Short, so lemme double up on that Boston Kreme order and pour me a big-ass cuppa coffee avec extra half-and-half and sugar, OK?