Boys are Stinky

It's been several years since I have been to a house occupied by a number of straight males who, by the looks of it, don't see the likes of women in their abode. Today, while helping Ashley make a reality show audition tape, I went back in time- to college days. Ashley's friend Ray is looking to break into the film industry, and he has a roommate who currently works in television. We went to Ray's to film the rest of Ashley's audition tape for "The Biz", and to edit it.
From the outside, Ray's house looks like any other suburban house on the street. The lawn needed a good mowing, but nothing too bad. But upon entering the breezeway, it got ugly fast. The entire house smells like ciggarette smoke (gag), and dust collects on every surface. There are pepsi cans upon beer cans upon empty pizza boxes lining the coffee and end tables, and enough dog hair on the carpet and floors to knit a rug. The boys' bedrooms display beds without sheets, mounds of dirty laundry, and the bathroom was a nightmare. The basement, where I am guessing they spend most of their time, was set up with two computer moniters, on opposite sides of the room, playing 24-hour Simpsons. That was actually pretty cool. I can't really say I'm surprised- men tend to live like pigs. But it has been a loonngg time since I have seen that much filth. Since most of the mens' apartments I frequent these days are occupied by homosexuals, it's a non-issue. Even the few boys I've dated in the past few years have been neat, clean, organized men. Apparently they are unicorns.
Full ashtrays and empty PBR cans may have been alright in college, but now it's a definite no. Keep that in mind, all you bachelor readers! (And I know there are a ton). This bachelorette won't be setting foot in a shithole.