Paging Dr. Brothers

"Trying to follow the sex advice is like trying to follow a paraplegic up the stairs: impossible. They give you the "how to please your woman column every month", but dress it up by alternating body parts. File down your calluses so you don’t scrape her nipple. Pretend you are in Australia and go counterclockwise went servicing her female-hood. Lick her behind her ear. Lick her behind her knee. Lick her brown-eye. Fucking cheat codes to Nintendo games were easier! Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, start, motherfucker! Nash makes it simple: Don’t fart when she blows you. Don’t cum in her eye. Don’t punch her in the arm when you are finished and say, “Dude, that was fucking awesome!” And for God’s sake, when you are making out with the holiest of holy, tear that shit up like a junkyard dog! Don’t follow that last one. I really don’t know what to tell you to do. Better consult the Trifecta."

-The Phat Phree (AKA, one of my new favorite blogs)